For the past month my Saturday's have been freakishly identical. They start with a fury as my brain convulses and withers from alcohol induced dehydration. I then proceed to make an inner pact to never, ever drink again. This pact is then swiftly broken by a walk of shame to my favorite brunch spot for Mimosa's and Red Velvet Waffles (aka my everything) with my favorite gals to recap on what the hell happened last night.  I then resist the urge to throw up as I come home to lay on my roof for approximately two hours, by then a sufficient amount of time has passed for me to devour more food.

See: Dordy's beer belly is hungry. 

Never leave my alone.

I then Netflix for a few (see: Five) hours, before getting ready and doing it all over again. It's a glorious little tradition I have started with myself and aside from the unfortunate fact that I have to work next Saturday (….what is this bullshit?!?!!) I never want it to end. 

Side note:

Kitty has developed a weird habit of sneaking up on me. Exhibit A: Peeing.

Add this to her little freak list of hobbies next to Nipple Licking...

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