What's Up Gossip Girls?

Thursday, August 29, 2019

It has been quite an eventful week filled with driving on the wrong side of the road, having my ovaries poked and probed and searching long and hard for lime green tracksuit pants for a make shift Teletubbie costume (Sidenote: Not my personal costume...I'm the precious Teletubbie Sun Baby).

Let's start from the top...driving on the other side of the car. I should point out the picture below was snapped while parked at a gas station waiting for my Dad to pop in and get himself a stress ice cream to soothe his vocal cords from the incessant yelling he was doing. 

Although I am originally from Australia, I have actually never driven here in my life. Surprisingly, after you get going it isn't that hard to remember to stick to the left, in fact I stuck to the left so well my Dad was certain I was going to start hitting parked cars, pedestrians and the occasional mail box. Beside the fact that I turned on my windscreen wipers every single time I went to turn the corner, I think I did pretty well! The craziest part is that I didn't even have to take a drivers test to switch my license over, so beep beep, I'm licensed in the state of Queensland. To all the Kangaroo's out would be a good time to stay off the roads!

I also developed a new hobby this week....scrapbooking! I am someone who collects everything! Tickets, notes, tiny cocktail umbrellas, hotel key cards, name it, if it is tied to a memory, I held on to. While relocating one of my memory boxes from Los Angeles to Brisbane, I decided that I wanted to store these items in a different way, enter scrapbooking. 

Every morning after my family left for work, I would spread my items all over the kitchen counter, blast some music videos and warm up my hot glue gun. I'm about 7 pages in, with stacks of memories and pictures to go. Every now and then spending too long dwelling on the past sends me into an existential crisis that eventually we will all be dead and this wouldn't matter so I can only do a few pages a day. I'm really sane, I promise!

Don't worry, I had plenty of help....

Billy and Buttons are huge scrapbooking enthusiasts and also enjoy belting out John Farnham songs, so we have a really fun, high energy time! 

Hmm...what else has been going on?

I'm on Antibiotics for my 143rd lifetime UTI....and if you think that is TMI I also had a really cute Transvaginal Ultrasound yesterday (You're welcomeeee.) The best part was it was bulk billed so cost me $0, thank you Australia for at least trying with your healthcare system (here is looking at you, America!)

Aside from the fact that my stepmom got me hooked on 13 Reasons Why like the 14 year old I truly am and that I have been eating way too many sandwiches because I forgot how good plain white bread can taste without all the added sugar (Again America, that's for you!) that's about all that's been happening! 

I'm definitely going a bit stir crazy not having anything particularly productive to fill my days with for the first time in years, so here is hoping next time I post I'm sharing the news that I've finally found a job! 

Oh also, it turns out my month long heart attack was actually just indigestion, who fucking knew! 

G2G my Tum's are calling.

Wait! I almost forgot! This past weekend my youngest brother was the lead in his school musical in a move completely out of left field as nobody in my family even knew he could carry a tune. I went to two out of three performances and had a little cry the first night along with all the Mother's like the supportive parent I am. Right before he went on for the first night he told me he was completely dead inside so the fact he even made it out there was a great accomplishment. I don't think he reads here (and if he does....well...oops) So here is a snippet of one of his songs. Side note, his love interest in the play is his actual girlfriend because this is High School Musical and we are all in this together, obviously! 

Music Monday VII

Monday, August 26, 2019

In case you didn't realize, Music Monday's also come with a throwback picture now.

This weeks Music Monday comes with a theme, and what is that theme I hear you cry? My feel good jams. These are my cheesy, dancing in the car, singing in the shower bops. A lot of them are quite embarrassing and you know what? I don't even care.

Xanadu by Olivia Newton-John

Locomotion Kylie Minogue

Waterloo by ABBA

When I was a child one of my favourite albums was ABBA's Gold album. I am pretty sure I still know every word and in the word of the true love of my life Dave Grohl, "Who doesn't like ABBA?"

Always Be My Baby by Mariah Carey

I'm going to be honest I completely forgot about this song until last year when friend of mine with a huge Mariah Carey obsession kept it on repeat. Sorry for sleeping on you Mariah, it wouldn't happen again, I can't escape you girl. 

The Impression That I Get by The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

I rediscovered this song in 2012, and in true fashion had it on repeat for about 3 months. I was in a really great little space at that time, so this song gets to keep it's spot on the nice list.

It's a Beautiful Day by Michael Buble

We have already established I love Michael Buble so I don't know why I'm even bothering to type anything here.

She's A Bad Mama Jama by Carl Carlton

I go through these weird hyperactive phases where I can't sit down or shut up and my annoying level is out of this world. One Sunday morning last summer I woke up fucking WIRED, while my exboyfriend was nursing his hangover begging me to shut up, I spent abut 3 hours moonwalking around my bedroom to this song. Fun fact. 

For Once In My Life by Stevie Wonder

To clarify, I am aware this isn't originally Stevie Wonder's song....with that being is my favourite Stevie Wonder song so in my head it's his. Thank you very much.

Cool Rider by Michelle Pfeiffer

Firstly, Fuck Grease 2. Now that is out of the way....I used to have a friend who dated this guy who was typical leather with a motorcycle (ala' Justin Bobby) and we used to mercilessly mock her whenever she used to talk about him by singing this song with full dance routine  She loved that. 

Just Like Heaven by The Cure

I like to listen to this song while I'm doing any kind of errands because in my head it's the backing track of my very own rom com which makes walking to the bank that much more interesting. 

Walkin' On The Sun by Smash Mouth

Ok, before you judge me just go ahead and remember I was a child of the 90's, Smash Mouth was a fucking thing. So leave me alone.

Don't Get Me Wrong by Pretenders

Let's Dance by David Bowie

I'm a basic bitch which means my two favourite Bowie songs are Suffragette City and Let's Dance. I don't even care.

Head over Feet by Alanis Morissette
Remember how I said I was a child of the 90's? Well that is still true a few songs later, so I fuck with Alanis Morissette and have never felt older than when I was having a conversation with my coworker who was 20 and didn't know a single Alanis Morissette song. Disgusting. 

She's So Lovely by Scouting for Girls
 For Easter 2008 I got a signed poster from this band because my step-family were family friends with one of the guys. I had no idea who they were but their song had just gone to number one so I was like oh dope. Fast forward to a few years later I heard this song in Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging and it got stuck in my head for 3 weeks and after looking it up I realized, oh shit...that's the same band. 


Wednesday, August 21, 2019

I know what are you is unemployment? What’s it like living back at home in a city where you have no friends yet?

It’s going great!

On the Other Side.

Tuesday, August 20, 2019

I write this post from the other side of my move. The other side being Australia, and to be even more specific I'm actually writing this from my living room in Australia while my Dad and I watch an episode of How it's made? about how they make boomerangs, so yes...definitely in Australia.

I made it home late Saturday night, via Hawaiian layover and incredibly swollen, it was really cute. My ankle bones still have yet to find their way home but I'm hoping they arrive soon. I've spent the last few days eating sausage rolls (I've had three so far...I've been here three do the math) and trying to get my new life in order.

I've also discovered a little fact I had previously forgotten about....Australian birds don't come to play!

The first morning I was rudely awaken at 5am by a bird sitting in the tree outside doing its best impression of a car alarm. I'm not even being sarcastic, I genuinely think that's what it was doing. I of course took a video to send to my friends and complain about my lack of sleep...I even went downstairs and informed my Dad that I had made a grave mistake and can no longer live in Australia.... I then proceeded to sit in the armchair and pout for the next few hours. Thankfully the birds have returned every morning since, so that's good.

Here is the video so you can truly understand what my bird torture sounded like.

If that isn't a car alarm, I do not know what is! 

To make matters worse, a few hours later when I was getting ready to head out for the day I stepped out of the front door to this... 

A single magpie.

As the rhyme goes...

One for sorrow, two for joy, three for a girl, four for a boy, five for silver, six for gold, seven for a secret never to be told

A single magpie is seen to be bad luck AND it is swooping season. For those unfamiliar, around this time of the year these black and white birds become little torpedos of pain. If you happen to walk in the general direction of their nesting chicks they attack, swooping down to beak you in the temple, I recommend looking it up on Youtube, it's wild and one of my favourite things to introduce to unfamiliar Americans. 

I was personally attacked by a magpie only once. I was 14 and walking across a football field to catch the train when suddenly I was quite literally kicked in the back of the head. I look behind me in shock right as the little bastards flapped down and kicked me again, I began waving my hands and running like a maniac while it chased and kicked me a handful more times. Heart pounding, and looking like a complete moron frantically out of breath, I eventually made it to the train but if I can offer you any advice it's to stay the hell away from these shits during the spring. 

I digress, but yes not much to report other than it's been a bird-y few days full of early mornings and puffy ankles.

But alas, I made it! 

Koala headband and all!

Music Monday VI

Monday, August 19, 2019

MM Throwback: In honor of being reunited with my little munches

Moon River by Frank Ocean

I really like Moon River, and every now and then stumble across a cover that I love but Frank Ocean and Audrey still live at the top of my list. 

Town Called Malice by The Jam

I have a funny feeling I've spoken about this song before, but I'm too lazy to go back and check. I was first introduced to it by my friend Mariaan while walking through Perth's northern suburbs in the summer of 2007. I remember that day so vividly, and have loved the song ever since. 

Long Live The Queen- Frank Turner SongBook Version

Ok I definitely know I have spoken about this song before because the original version was featured on my first Music Monday. With that being said, I've been loving this version a lot this week so I'm being a Music Monday song repeater, with a twist! 

The Boys Light Up by Australian Crawl

There is a special place in my heat for old-school Australian pub rock. It reminds me of hot Australian summers, getting out of the swimming pool to run to the shops with my Mum, sans shoes and with plenty of chlorine stinging my eyes while it plays on the radio in the background. 

                             Show Me Heaven by Tina Arena  
If I'm curling my hair there is a great chance I'm dramatically lip syncing this song into my mirror at the same time.

Bossa Nova Baby by Elvis

Two of Hearts by Stacey Q
Back in the summer of 2012 my rooftop was a happening ass place. A rotating group of us were always up there drinking tall boys and playing drinking games (it was also the summer I realized I couldn't chug). One day in particular my pal Colleen was in charge of the music and played this song on a loop and now it defines that entire summer for me. I recently rediscovered it while dancing to it at a shitty Brooklyn dive bar.

Trust by Generationals

I used to have a close friend called Olivia and whenever I would say her name I couldn't not sing song it the way it's pronounced in this song, therefore this song was in my head for what felt like years.

Sunday Candy by Donnie Trumpets & The Social Experiments

I fuck with anything Chance the Rapper touches. Thank you and Goodnight.

Throwback Thursday

Thursday, August 15, 2019

 Old Orchard Beach 2012. For the four years after we graduated high school my old school friends and I would take a day trip to Old Orchard Beach, Maine every summer. Eventually it all got too difficult to arrange a time were we could all all align for that solitary day and simply turned into run in's closer to home (all of us moved south after high school and OOB was way north of all of us so it stopped making sense). For those four years we did make the hike, we often found ourselves under cloudy skies, and a little chilly....turns out when you plan a beach trip months in advance, you can't always rely on good weather! Nonetheless, it was a fun little tradition for a few years.

I look at this picture now and I can't help but laugh. I was 148 pounds and a size 6, yet I felt like an actual whale. Isn't that always the way? You look back on your teenage self and think, god girl what were you actually thinking you freakin' star? Hindsight man, it's always 20/20.

Sunapee 2007. Celebrating the last day of middle school with celebratory Pizza Chef. This was right before I moved back to Australia (and I write this post the night before I move back to Australia again, fitting). This little town and these little summer days wandering around, swimming in the lake and eating pizza are so special to me. At the time I thought it was boring, I came from a city and thought a little more hustle and bustle would spice up my 14 tear old life. Now I can look back fondly. It's funny, as soon as we threw our caps in the air, all of us scattered like shrapnel on to bigger places, hungry for more. I think it's special that even though we all live completely separate lives now, we can still appreciate the childhood we spent in that little town.

Sunapee 2006. Just a group of 13 year olds, dressing up and taking pictures on digital camera the size of small houses. After this picture we literally sung into hairbrushes, and snuck back into the house like a scene from a perfect teen movie.

New York City 2012. The Blarney Stone- The messiest non-carding bar in Manhattan. Two things about this night, 1. My fake ass wig was an inch away from falling off my head and 2. A girl I worked with was shamelessly flirting with the guy I had been sporadically tormenting and crying at for the past few months, and I saw fucking red. I went up to him and pretended I was leaving so he would follow me and get away from her... he jumped up quick, snatched his stuff from her and walked out with me. I thought I won, turns out I was still a complicated 18 year old and so really what is winning when you still wake up a mess?

Las Vegas 2017- Have you ever gotten so drunk at a work event that you tried to get into a strangers suitcase or had to leave a conference mid-way through to make yourself throw up? Because I have. 

New York City 2016. This was at a time in my life were every few weeks my friends and I would meet up at a restaurant called Mexican Radio, drink margaritas and commiserate about our lives. 

Perth 2007. Who holds their drink so close to their face? Someone who really wants to prove they are drinking alcohol at 14. This was honestly such a fun night that felt like it went on for 30 years and I remember so vividly well. Side note: I'm especially fond of the Supre shirts that were all the rage in 2007.

Brisbane 2019. This is what I call, two middle children pretending we are taller than we really are. Nice heal placement, kids. 

New York City 2014. This is me being drunker than the group at a Dallas BBQ like a classy, classy lady. The key memory of this night is violently throwing up Pina Coladas, and refusing to go to The 13th Step because I stand by the fact that I hate that place.

Sunapee 2005. We were such a little trio at this time, I believe this was the night we went to the Newport Bonfire, before realizing we hated it and sitting under a tree waiting to be picked up, talking about how we wanted to do our own version of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants but we couldn't do pants because our heights we so varied so we would do a traveling shirt. 

New York City 2011. This was at a one bedroom apartment on 11th avenue that was home to about 7 Brazilians. I'm not even going to give details, that's all the info you get.

Bye Bye Beach House

I'm almost done being sentimental I promise but today is my last day in Hermosa Beach. I scrolled back through my old phone to find pictures of my very first day here. It seems like yesterday honestly, and when I zero in on all the things that have happened since this day I'm actually a little shocked. 

I loved Hermosa, but I really wanted to fall deeper. If I could pick it up and move it, or fill it with my friends and family I would truly never leave. It's hard to admit that sometimes something you wanted to work so badly just didn't pan out, relationships and homes alike. 

Sending Mum and Best Friend a little video tour obviously. 

PS. Do you want to hear a random thing that made me sad whilst* moving? I used to have a really weird habit of overbuying bananas and then shoving them into my freezer as they turned brown. insisting I would use them to make banana bread. I have never made banana bread in my life, but for some reason it felt right to have 30 bananas on hand just in case. It used to drive my ex-boyfriend absolutely crazy. I actually don't think any one of my quirks annoyed him more. I would just shrug it off and insist that when I did make banana bread he would never get any. It was our little bit so taking all those bananas out to the dumpster yesterday, knowing they will never be banana bread made me  tear up. It's a good thing I'm leaving town actually, I can almost hear the neighbours whispering about the emotional weirdo with a bag full of bananas. 

**My friend Meghan used to go insane when I used the word whilst, she was sure it wasn't a real word. Personal apologies for that one Meg!

Music Monday V

Monday, August 12, 2019

MM Throwback: Today I learned that puka shell necklaces are back with the kids, who knew we were over 10 years ahead of the trend? Also the fact that this was over 10 years ago makes me want to burrow into the earth a little.

She's Kerosene by The Interrupters

Bring it on Home to Me by Otis Redding and Carla Thomas 

The Sam Cooke version of this song has been on my favourite song list for many years now. Recently though, I've been really loving this version also, fuck me up horns. 

Weir by Killing Heidi

Killing Heidi makes me feel 6 years old again. That's all I really have to say about that.

Ain't That A Kick In The Head by Dean Martin 

I mean damn, it really is a kick in the head. 

Young Hearts Run Free by Candi Staton 

An ex-boyfriend of mine was weirdly obsessed with this song, because of that it never fails to remind me of walking around lower Manhattan at 3am when I was 18 years old while he drunkenly belted it out. 

Princess by Sonny

Next up on the ex-boyfriend throwbacks! This wasn't planned, my apologies. This song was playing when I met my most recent ex-boyfriend. It became our song because it was always in our heads because it played on a loop at my place of work. It's literally about a girl being the worst and treating her boyfriend like crap so we probably should have seen the cracks from the beginning!

Bringin' on the Heartbreak by Def Leppard 

Def Leppard always reminds me of a very particular time in my life in around 2002. It's one of my Mums favourite bands and I vividly remember her Winamp playlist having a lot of Def Leppard on it. Although this isn't her favourite song of theres, for some reason it's mine. 

She Talks to Angels by The Black Crowes

Brick by Ben Fold Five
I've spoken before about songs that just fuck me up. Add this one to the list. Even before I knew what it was about, just a few notes in and I would be drowning slowly.

Girl on the Move.

Sunday, August 11, 2019

When I was 11 I packed my life into two suitcases and moved with half my family from Australia to the United States.

When I was 14 I packed up two suitcases and moved by myself from the United States back to the west coast of Australia.

When I was still 14 the other half of my family and I moved from the west coast of Australia to the east coast of Australia.

Two days after my 15th birthday, I backed my life back into two suitcases and left east coast Australia to move back to east coast United States.

Two weeks after I turned 18, I packed up one car load of belongings and moved to New York City.

When I was 23, I packed my life into three suitcases, left New York City and moved to Los Angeles.

Confused yet?

TL:DR? I'm not a stranger to a long distance move.

I'm now 26 and here I am again backing my life into just three suitcases.

I have to be out of my apartment in just under a weeks time, and I'm in the process of selling, donating and packing my California life away. I can already picture myself old and grey, talking about the two years I spent in my little beach house.

One half of me is used to this, so void of attachment to items that I barely bat an eyelid. The other half had a little cry the other week after selling my TV because my Mum bought it for me as a housewarming gift, or after giving away a pair of beach chairs my ex and I used to utilize daily just a summer ago.

There is something oddly cathartic about donating a bridesmaid dress I bought for my once best friends wedding, never wearing it due to a falling out before the date. I had been holding on to it for god knows what reason. Maybe because it was $200 and it seemed a shame to donate it away, maybe because I had the space so why not. Those reasons don't seem to matter when it's time to squish your life back in to three suitcases.

Weird things make me emotional as well, like giving up the cellphone number I have had since I was 15. Every now and then I'll get a random text from a friend from years ago, just popping in to say Hi because they came across my number. Giving that up does something weird to my heart.

Oh well, stuff is just stuff at the end of the day.

I'll never forget the uncomfortable boxspring my Mum and I bought from a store in Astoria my first day in New York, my first piece of all mine furniture. I'll never forget the grey sectional that just got walked out of my apartment door by a father and son duo, new to the area trying to furnish there new home with my old memories. It was my first real big girl purchase that I spent a good amount of money on because I had moved beyond my Ikea and Craigslist days.

Stuff is just stuff, but it holds some pretty great memories.

Now if you do excuse me, I am going to go sit on my living room floor, drink a bottle of gifted Rose and wallow.

Music Monday Part IV

Monday, August 5, 2019

Unrelated picture tra-la-la-la-la. Also, 15 was so fun. I miss 15 sometimes. 

Everything by Michael Buble

I would be lying if I said my favourite Michael Buble song wasn't a Christmas song. But this is a favourite of the non-Christmas variety! Also, can I just point out that I also think Emily Blunt is everything and I'm incredibly jealous she got this song AND ended up with John Krasinski....some people have all the luck!

Love on Me by Galantis

I have a handful of songs that give me the same visceral reaction every time I hear it. This is one. For some reason every time I hear it I revert to the same exact dance move. Also, personal apologies to my downstairs neighbors.

That's Life by Frank Sinatra 

This song makes me act different. Catch me out here smoking an imaginary cigar, not giving a fuck. 

Everybody Plays the Fool by The Main Ingredient 
I first heard this song in an Uber a few years ago now when I was out here feeling like a damn fool. Every now and then I go back to it to when I need someone to tell it to me straight.

                             Lost Without U by Robin Thicke 

Let's pretend Blurred Lines doesn't exist and let me live in this Robin Thicke bubble. booty poppin' to the cymbal hits and living my best life in front of my bedroom mirror. Thanks!

Little Red Corvette by Prince

Ok I have a bone to pick. This woman keeps used condoms in her pocket.....That's never a good sign girl, get it together!

Champion by Kanye West

We are the champions, my frieeeeends......wrong song? Oh well. 

I'm Still Standing by Taron Egerton
Firstly, I prefer the version on the Sing soundtrack over the version from the Rocketman soundtrack. That's important. Now, if anybody needs me I'll be cleaning my apartment and jazz kicking all over my living room feeling like a true survivor. 

....And We Thought that Nation-States were a bad idea by Mad Caddies

Ska teeters on a fine line between love and hate for me. Some songs make me want to stab myself in the temple, others I fuck with. This song, I fuck with.

You Make Me Feel like Dancing by Leo Sayer
Do you ever love a song and think, hmmm I feel like I should be embarrassed for liking this? This is one of those songs for me but I'm too busy "Saturday Night Fever'ing" to care.