Sam Turner is 25.

I was born with a built in best friend. It took me a few years to realize that is what he really was, but he was there from day one. I would have preferred someone who wasn't a freckled, pale, ginger because I mean, who wants to be friends with that? But I'll take what I was given.


When we were small, annoying Sam both intentionally and unintentionally seemed to be an every day occurrence. Who knew slurping ones Coco Pops could drive another so insane? Once he learned how to swear and what his middle finger represented,  I was doomed. He never wanted to hang out with his lame little sister, but I didn't stop trying.

I followed him and his friends through the streets begging to be included, I gave up broccoli (one of my favorite foods!) because he didn't like it and I even remember trying desperately to give him my pocket money in an attempt to help the forever broke play laser tag with his friends....nothing.

The happiest day of my life was when Sam woke and realized how amazing I really was (Big ups to his friends for letting me know how much he talks about my homie is kind of a fan girl, it's great.) It's like all those years of constantly following him around, begging my Mum to force him to be nice to me and literally diving in front of his dart board trying to get him to notice me, had paid off (Don't give up on your dreams kids, begging and relentless pestering can work wonders!)


In a divorced household where you grow up pin balling between houses (sometimes on different sides of the world), where you will always have that missing piece of "family" forever in the back of your mind, it's good to have someone who has experienced the exact same thing, and dealt with the exact same emotions.

Sam is my most familiar thing in life, because up until that moment in a bustling LAX terminal in the summer of 2007, when I was about to move back to Australia and he was about to head off to college, we lived the same life. He has more amo on me than any other person in the world and because of this he will be doing no speeches at my wedding....or funeral for that matter, that shit will die with me Sam, mark my words.


I love every member of my family immensely, and nothing will ever change that, but I have a special place within my cold heart for my Sam. I worry about him as if he was my child and I want him to succeed and find happiness in everything he does more than I want it for myself. Don't get me wrong, there are a few things I would love to change...but at the end of the day I'm learning to accept that these little quirks and annoyances are what make Sam, Sam. The Sam that has always been my other. Even now, I think my Dad forgets we are different people as he lectures me for things Sam does. We are just one little unit. And it's the best unit I can imagine being apart of.

So to you Sammy Toucan, I say happy quarter century. Thank you for the huge role you played in making my life pretty amazing . Thank you for finally realizing how blessed you are to have me in your life. Thank you for making sure 9 year old Dords knew the proper way to wear her Von Dutch trucker hat. Thank you for not ever actually getting that mad when I light your ass on fire about all the shit you do that annoys me. Thank you for making me look so good in most situations. But above all, thank you for simply being a great brother (ok, average....but it's your birthday so I'll leave the great there for laughs). I love you very much and hope you have a stupendous day. Please answer your phone, and reply to all messages because much to my surprise, I'm not the lone member of the Sam Turner fan club.....I'm just the one who unfortunately looks like you and if that isn't a damn shame I don't know what is.

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