Cheap wiiiiine and three day....s worth of vegetables

Cold Chisel anyone? No? I'll see myself out. 

 My joints are really sore....is this an age thing? a weather thing? a not taking care of my body for 20+ years thing? Either way stairs are hard....and also typing is hard...life is hard.

So today....or...err yesterday? Whatever the 8th was Queen Mumpets birthday. Happy Birthday Queen Mumpet.

 I'm not sober right now....which is making stringing a sentence together very difficult. I'm not sure why exactly I'm even writing something....but alas here I am.

Oh actually, snaps for me for something. I haven't spent a single penny in 1 whole week (I almost had to pay for my drinks last night...but then I remembered I have boobs....I half hate myself, half love myself....) Two weeks ago I did something I never do aka bought groceries aka what up adulthood! This was the brain child of realization after I had added up how much money I spent on going out to eat....let's just say it wasn't pretty especially since I am desperately trying to save money and seem to be spending hours staring at my bank balance with a look of sheer bewilderment at where exactly my money went (#girlzjustwannahavefundz.) I still can't cook though so I have been living off 3 dollar wine, avocado and ham sandwiches and huge bowls of lettuce and broccoli smothered in balsamic (aka the gods nectar....aka it's literally my favorite flavor....aka shower me in it). I've also noticed that my body is liking me more (except my old man joints). It's less bloated due to the whole no artificial-what-have-you I normally inject straight into my blood stream and I don't constantly want to kill myself due to constant food coma....well I mean I did eat a whole french baguette yesterday and felt my heart slow down but that's beside the point.

I've reached that point in my life that my diet actually effects how I feel. I've never really been too self conscious about my weight- I have big boobs, big thighs, a smaller waist and a weird little baby bump of chub that likes the hang out on my lower stomach sometimes and that was just kind of that. Some days I would feel chubby and crappy but it was never a massive deal to me honestly, so I just ate what I wanted and went on my merry way. But now I actually feel my body reacting to food. It kind of blows. I have always loved vegetables, hell I used to hoard heads of lettuce under my bed as a child and constantly gobbled up cucumbers and tomatoes much to the annoyance of my mother who planned on using them for dinner. But I also have a major sweet tooth...and a bread tooth....and a bacon tooth...where was I going with this?

Oh yeah! Australian bacon is so much better than American bacon (that definitely wasn't where I was going with that...but hey man, a fact is a fact.)

I would just like to apologize for wasting 5 minutes of your time, I'm going to be honest I'm not even going to reread and edit because I'm way to sleepy and isn't there a rule about writing drunk and editing sober?

See you when I'm sober I guess.

Time to go nap nap.