Ahoj 2024

 

Happy 2024 folks. 

I have asked several people what their New Years resolutions are this year and every single time it has been met with utter disgust, so definitely not going to both asking you how those are going!

Unlike the party poopers in my life, I DID make some resolutions because I personally love setting myself up for failure and disappointment.

• Try 50 New Recipes

As someone who used to worry that if I had children they would grow up on cereal, I'm kind of a whole new bitch recently and I'm really loving cooking, so I need to keep riding that wave! I'm personally into cooking cultural dishes at the moment in an effort to get over my fear of cooking meet because until very recently the idea of consuming meat that I cooked made me want to pass away, but she's growing and she's evolving! 

• Read 50 books

I go through phases with reading and have discovered I enjoy buying and owning books more than I like actually reading them. 2024 is the year I actually read all the books I own before buying any new ones (literally already failed that part, but the idea was nice in theory!)

• Watch 100 Movies

Confession: I am not a movie gal. Aside from the Barbie movie, I haven't been to the movies in YEARS and when I'm at home I am more likely to rewatch Gilmore Girls for the 900th time instead of picking a new movie. I'm on a mission to change that, though! I originally thought I should watch the top 100 movies (I tried this once in lockdown and quit before I started) but then I remembered I would rather gnaw off my own arm than watch Citizen Cane so catch me watching every chick flick ever made thank you so kindly.

• Limit food delivery

My coworker told me once she feels like a little raccoon scurrying out of her dumpster to run and get her food from the front step before scurrying back inside and honestly, she isn't wrong! This is my only money saving goal of the year because man oh MAN I would hate to know how much money I waste on Uber eats! 

• Take More Pictures (Not of Norman)

Fun fact, I never take any pictures of anything aside from my dog. The other day at lunch my friends spent like 5 minutes taking photos of things and I complained the whole damn time I'm a real joy.) Personally, I love that I don't need pictures of an event to know it happened or that I had fun, but as my friend always says, "One day if you have kids they will think you did nothing for like 8 years of your life because you refuse to document anything."  

They will know I have a dog though because boy oh boy do I love snapping pictures of that little guy! For example the singular picture I took from Christmas 2023 was Norman wearing his Christmas hat as a scarf.

Side note: My family have this tradition of playing Celebrity Head at the dinner table during our Christmas Eve meal, and Norm was obviously Princess Leia.

And that's all of them! 

See? Easy Peezy! 

I'm not out here trying to reinvent the wheel, lose 500 pounds or save 1 million dollars. Just a few little things to aim for this year. 

The Official List of Taylor Swift's Top Songs (In Alphabetical Order, but in all honesty Treacherous Wins) (Jordan's Version)

(He's a Red guy)

All Too Well (I'm good with the regular version, 10 minutes is a really long time)

Better Man (Back to Back Fuck Jake Gyllenhaal? That's rough.....oh well)

Betty 

Champagne Problems 

Cornelia Street (I also lived on Cornelia Street in NYC....was it the same Cornelia Street?....no. but that part isn't important)

Dear John 

Don't Blame Me 

Dress (She Fucks.)

Fearless

Forever and Always

Getaway Car

High Infidelity 

Illicit Affairs (The We Love Cheating Trifecta courtesy of the Alphabet)

Marjorie

Midnight Rain

Mine

My Tears Ricochet (Fuck that Scott dude)

New Romantics

Style 

The Archer

The Great War

The Lakes (I love this fucking song minus the line about tweeting the rose....that one really pisses me off, soz Tay)

The Last Great American Dynasty

Treacherous 

......aaaaaand all of remaining songs on Folklore and most from Reputation

Christmasy Cozy Vibes

 The absolute best part about not living in the USA (aside from the healthcare and the guns thing...) is that Thanksgiving does not exist therefore we don't have to awkwardly hurdle that holiday and can instead charge right on to Christmas! 

Happy to report, November 18th and Christmas has well and truly arrived at my house.

Now if you would please excuse me it's time for me to spend the next month watching Christmas movies with my AC cranking so it feels nice and cozy, wrapping presents, jingling my bells and most likely eating my weight in cheeseboards from the comfort of my own couch.

P.S. My Top 3 Christmas movies since I heard nobody ask?

1. The Grinch (The Jim Carey version obviously. I saw it in theatres when I was 7 and I have been a changed person ever since)

2. Home Alone (Both 1 and 2 at an equal tie, fuck the rest).

3.The Santa Claus (Bernard 4 ever)

Music Monday XXII

Side Note: Have I ever mentioned that I listen to this song whenever I need to get shit done?It gives great "I'll show you how valuable Elle Woods can be" energy!

Music Monday XXI

I love Sam Cooke and have been listening to Live at the Copa on repeat for pretty much the whole year but if you could go ahead and just IV this song right into my blood stream that would be most ideal, it really just itches my brain in the best way. I'm also very Anti-Bob Dylan to my core, like just doesn't do it for me, so we can just skim over that part.  Side note: I was today years old minus about 7 days when I learned that there are two versions of this song. As a 90's pop bitch to my inner core I was SHOCKED. I knew the words to both versions so they must have fused together in my mind but I think I have decided this is my preferred version.

Come on Over > Come on Over Baby....fight me about it.

Moody Blues

This week was one of the busiest weeks of my life...but not for the reason one may think.

Let's back track to when I was 8.

I used to find sleepovers to be an unbearable inconveniences that plagued the pathway through childhood. Wait, let me clarify. I loved having my friends stay at my house, hell one of my friends stayed over almost every single weekend for multiple day stretches. The idea of sleeping in close vicinity to a pal was not the dilemma. The problem was when they wanted me to sleep in close vicinity to them, whilst also being not in my own home.

Burn the idea. Kill it. Throw it away.

There are a few key feelings that stick with you and for some reason one of my big ones for me, was the growing panic I felt at a sleepover prior to the age of 11 (Oddly, once we moved to New Hampshire that fear evaporated for me....)

I could be having a whale of a time in the daylight but as the sun started to set it was like a mass was forming in the centre of my chest. Another key trigger was typically when my friends fathers would return from work, a site typically unseen in your standard post-school play date. No matter how lovely a man, his presence signalled that things were different. At this point I would normally excuse myself to the bathroom to have a little deep breathing session, hoping rapid breaths would squish out the flames in my chest. 

Dinner would roll around and my thoughts would be on what my family were eating in my absence and suddenly I had FOMO for like....a lamb chop with my Mum and brother. 

I would feel sick to my stomach, or my head would hurt and my friend and their family would look on whilst I cried. I would call my Mum typically asking if she could bring me more things, thinking somehow having my hairbrush with me would make me feel better.

But it never did. 

She would drop my things off and before she made it back home I was ringing to let her know she forgot me.

Get me the hell out of here.

The relief I felt as I skipped away from my frowning friend and into the trusty Holden Apollo ready to be on my way home was a joy like no other.

My Mum never seemed to understand, but she always came to reluctantly collect her dramatic child none the less.

Now.

Cut to present day.

On Sunday, something in my brain flipped. Suddenly I felt that same mass in my chest that I used to feel as a child and I couldn't shake the feeling. Dan and Norman (human and dog of my life) looked on in confusion as I sobbed uncontrollably. Why? God knows! 

I felt stressed and squashed and confused and like everything from today onwards was cold and pointless. This feeling mirrored the way I felt as a child in a foreign home past sunsets, yet I was curled up on my own couch this time.

On Monday, Dan insisted we both played hooky from work to take me to the dr. He hand delivered me and sat in the waiting room in case I somehow shattered.

That evening I sat with my friends in a local Nando's crying into my Peri-Peri chicken. We laughed about how random this personality transplant was and after 3 hours of chatting I was feeling the mass in my chest shrink ever so much.

I decided this was how I was going to attack this feeling (well in addition to the lovely mental healthcare plan my GP had started me on of course, go to therapy folks!)

Every day this week I was on the go.

Dinners with friends, work out classes, the movies, lengthy dog walks and sunset decompressing (side note: Norman was so fucking done with how much walking he had to do this week he physically gave up one afternoon and I had to carry him all the way home because his little legs were done with my bullshit).

My friends sent me flowers to boost my mood or hand delivered me lunches and I confided in my boss that I'm not sure what was happening, but I think I temporarily lost my mind.

I'm not normally one to lean on others when I am feeling sad. I tend to become a bit of a fortress of solitude but it turns out this week others is exactly what I needed.

I'm not sure what caused this week of misery, but it was a lovely reminder that no matter how irrational my thoughts are, there are people in my life who are willing to swoop in and save me from the theoretical sadness sleepover at the drop of a hat.

On a much more joyous note, the Philadelphia Eagles (or more importantly my main guys Jason Kelce and Jordan Mailata because like sure, sure Pats forever but also....I love those guys!) have released the first song of this years Christmas album so it's time to start jingling those bells and counting down the seconds until my Christmas tree will be in up (let's be real...it's probably already up)