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Showing posts with label monday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label monday. Show all posts

Monday Man.

Monday, October 12, 2015



Tonight I had a momentary lapse of judgement.

I'm not sure what came over me, one minute I was binge watching Law and Order and the next minute I was scrolling through Reformation before my world went black. It felt like only a second and I'm not sure how it happened but suddenly I was awoken from my daze by my phone lighting up across the room, confirmation emails displayed across the screen as hundreds of dollars seeped out of my bank account....

I'm weak. 

Online shopping, you will be the death of me.





Lifestyles of the Young and the Hopeless.

Monday, September 7, 2015




Jordyn Turner reporting live from her robe.

I just spent the last 35 minutes burning brown rice, why I bought anything other than instant is beyond me....learned that lesson pretty quickly.

I have nothing to report, I just wanted to let everybody know I'm drinking wine in my robe and I'm still going to most certainly die in a kitchen related fire in the near future.

Happy Monday!


The devil gets drunk on Mondays.

Monday, March 10, 2014

This morning I woke up and my water was off....again. It's almost comical at this point. Unfortunately though because I haven't stayed at home the last few nights I had forgotten that this hell was actually a reality, which means I was without my emergency bottles of water! To make matters even worse it felt like the Sahara Desert in my esophagus and the only things immediately available to me were a few bottles of some nasty lemon cleanse, my emergency bottle of orange soda and my emergency bottle of wine.

The moral of this story is that I drank wine for breakfast. Which made drinking mimosas at brunch on a Monday feel that much less inappropriate....

Sometimes I start a blog post and realize that I don't have anything of any importance to say aside from the fact that I wanted to point out I drank a lot before 11 today. Is that a bad sign?

Oh well, here is a selfie I took at work....I like it because I look like satan (also...chubby hands?) Enjoy. You can tell it's nearing the end of the work day because all my hair has gone north and made it's way into a giant disastrous storm of red and gold.I like to call it my, "Look how much hair I can pile on top of my head!" look...looking at it, it really shows off my ginormous forehead and my giant chicken pox scar that sits in the middle of said ginormous forehead and draws even more attention to ginormous forehead....I have a big forehead. Could be worse though, my brother has a huge forehead AND he's balding...so really I win in this genetic lottery.




Whilst going to find this photo I found this other photo I took today. My coworker was very upset that he didn't have any important, work related paperwork in his mailbox, leaving said mailbox empty and alone....I died.



Lastly, my dad doesn't support mine and George Clooney's deep and real love so I had to end the relationship...it honestly broke my heart.

I've always been very fond of you Dad...you will be missed.