Do you ever feel like sometimes you fall so heavily into the routine of life that suddenly a month has gone by without you realizing? That was November.
Nothing is new. Nothing is different. I have nothing to report. Things have just been chug, chugging along. I have been working and dinnering, cooking and cleaning, friending and familying. drinking and hangovering. The usual things.
But alas, this is pretty much what November has looked like...
In November I made a conscious decision to be a little more specific with my time. I think this mainly blossomed when I saw my October TikTok screen time (honestly I hope the inventor of the infinite scroll is having a bad day!) but is probably a culmination of things. So I have been utilizing my notes app to create a to do list, not for anything major...just for every day life things honestly...
But man, who knew checking a simply task off a list could be such a big slap of serotonin? 10/10, would recommend.
I have been living for an infrared sauna. Am I on blood thinners and therefore not allowed to actually use an infrared sauna? Yes. Do I do it anyway? You betcha.
There is just something that makes me feel like a true self care goddess when I decide to spend 45 minutes having a little warm and cozy sweat. I have also gotten into the habit of bluetoothing Boney M. into the sauna and having a little shimmy shake whilst I lay there detoxing. I'm not sure exactly why or how that became a thing, but It's a ruckus event. 10/10 would recommend.
Over the past few months I have really been enjoying the process of sitting down on a Monday and going through Pinterest, organizing my food shop and experimenting with different recipes.
The recent addition to this tradition is turning whatever leftovers I have into a pie. I have come to learn that truly everything is better encased in puff pastry.
Catch me "Sugar, Butter, Flouring..." all summer long (Wrong pie...but you get the idea.) 10/10 would recommend.
I have been loving spending a Sunday Morning laying in the sun reading biographies. I really enjoy buying books, like maybe more than even reading them. I like going to book stores, browsing blurbs, seeing what covers catch my eye and exiting $100 poorer. Yet I always come back to biographies. I am currently reading The Nazis Knew My Name by Magda Hellinger and Maya Lee, and I am patiently waiting for Christmas to read my one true love, Dave Grohl's biography that I have been banned from purchasing myself. 10/10 would recommend.
And a classic favourite past time- Being a million feet taller than your short friends and still insisting on wearing your cute ass white 4 inch platform boots and not giving a fuck. I love a heel, love a wedge, insist on a platform, and have zero problem embracing that any day of the week.
Last week I went to Bunnings to buy fencing and climbing plants and I trotted all around that garden section in 3 inch platform sandals not giving a fuck. If my shoes don't push me over 6 foot, throw them away honestly.
I'm not 100% sure how I feel about horse racing because, you know, the whole animal cruelty thing. I do love stopping work to drink champagne, eat Red Rooster and gamble in in the middle of a Tuesday though.
So, I'm sure karma will smite me for that at some point.
My dad has the dream that if he ever won the lotto he would buy a block of land where he could keep old horses so they can just live peacefully and he could go and look at them. I know you all don't know my father but he is not a warm and fuzzy guy, so that fact is pretty much the cutest fact about him.
"Please sir, let me watch your horses..."
That's what he was saying at this very moment I assure you.
Today I woke up a nap and one of the people in it was Josh from The Princess Diaries movie. So I was sitting here groggily thinking to myself, hmm who the hell played Josh from The Princess Diaries movies?
I googled.
Erik Von Detten.
I paused.
Brink? The man I was convinced would one day skate me off in to the sunset?
I am now sitting here in shock, completely unsure on if I knew that information or not.
Part of my brain is rolling its eyes thinking, obviously he has the same face, you definitely knew that.
But the shocked side is unsure.
The third side is concerned I have developed a brain condition and my memory loss has begun
This is why an afternoon nap is never the answer!
Anyway, gotta go be the old bitch with my young friends ttyl.
I have been slowly working myself into an early grave this week and let me tell you it is not the wave!
A snapshot?
At 10pm on Tuesday night I got a text that the wellness centre I remotely manage at the moment had a call out for the rest of the week. Cut to me frantically getting in contact with everyone trying to find coverage so we were able to open at 8am the next day.
I fell asleep around 12pm.
At 4:45am my alarm went off so that I could finish arranging the schedule. After an hour or two of bed-work I quickly got dressed and went to actual office-work. I was at my desk by 7:30am, smashing raspberries directly into my face because somehow I thought that would help.
On my lunch break, I spent 30 minutes on the phone with the team at the wellness centre making sure they didn't need anything ordered or that you know...the place was still standing.
I got off work at 3:30pm and spent an hour on the phone discussing hiring, I set up a couple of massages trials on the way home and then sat on my couch furiously making a massage roster, suddenly looking up when I noticed it had gone dark. I quickly made some feta and spinach scrolls to constantly shove into my face for the next few days (apparently I eat all foods by shoving them into my gob) because I'm obsessed with puff pastry and want it with every meal!
I then of course took a minute to pose them with the fake plant I have draped across my kitchen, before having a scalding hot shower and a little scream.
I put on my Oodie, curled into a ball, went to sleep and woke up at 4:30am to type up an employee contract before leaving for work and doing it all over again.
My Monday to Friday job is now on pause for the weekend, but I get to spend my entire Saturday in the wellness centre frantically running around training staff on how to properly roll towels, scrubbing salty water off the walls and most likely taking small breaks to law down on a massage table trying to hold it all together!
This was me last weekend when I was....you guessed it....taking a 5 minute break on a massage table trying to hold it all together!!
Next week it's going to be even better because I get to add a couple of 15 hour on site work days to the mix! I love my life (and also complaining...I love that too!)
Now if you will excuse me my two broken finger nails, extremely swollen clotted leg and probable eye bags are going to binge watch a 9/11 documentary, do a face mask and fall asleep at 8pm on a Friday night.
I'm the Queen of branding every thing in my life as a problem for future Jordan.
I am ruled so heavily by instant gratification and the desire to prolong the things I don't want to do that if there is any facet of my life I want to change I'm quick to set the start date as the 1st day of next week....or the 1st of the month....or the 1st of the year. I am the person who buys tons of cute workout clothes prior to beginning any fitness journey, before leaving the actual fitness part for future Jordan to worry about.
I know the key to success is starting today, it's finding that mindset of ok sure, you fell off your bike whilst learning to ride, don't throw the whole bike away and worry about learning to do it some other time, simply pick it up and keep going down that track.
Speaking of learning to ride a bike, I rocked those training wheels for faaaaar too long. I waited until long after my next door neighbour was whizzing around me sans training wheels as I pitter pattered along the pavement alongside his younger sister, hoping she wouldn't whip hers off anytime soon so I had a partner in being a scaredy-cat. I remember my Dad taking me down to a local park to teach me, one wobble and I had my arms folded tightly across my chest. Yep, this is future Jordan's problem! The pressure to learn stressed me out, why was everybody rushing me! Then one afternoon, I went out into my cul de sac all alone, pulled out my bike and taught myself how to use it. After I had it mastered I ran out the back to grab my Mum and her boyfriend at the time to casually inform them of my new skill. Yep, nailed it.
The same goes with swimming. I had those water wings on way too late, because they were comfy and stress free. Sure, my older brother seemed to do everything before his time and would constantly pester me about how much of a baby my lack of skills made me, but see learning all these things? Meh, Future Jordan's problem. Training wheels were safe. Floaties were safe. I wasn't hurting anyone, I was just putting it off for a more suitable day.
Yeah girl you rock those floaties in a literal hot tub....you will certainly drown here.
This is a long round about way of saying that I'm the kind of person who would set a New Years resolution, fail on February 13th and pack it in for the next 10 months. I'll give it a go next year.
I'm trying to get better at that.
Now, I have majority of the major life skills mastered by this stage but that doesn't mean there aren't things sitting on my things to worry about in the future list.
Therefore, here are my August 20th resolutions-
Buy a Car
I have lived in Brisbane for exactly (like to the day) two years. I have spent those two years getting around via public transport, Uber, family and friends! I have had my license for 12 years, I physically can drive buuuuut after living in NYC for many years, public transport became second nature. I didn't drive, I rode. I got so comfortable being able to get anywhere with my backpack, headphones and two feet that the thought of owning a car seemed unnecessary. Cut forward to my time in Los Angeles, I was averaging $800 a month on Uber, opting for this stress free way of weaving through traffic every day. My lack of time spent behind the wheel of late has made me somewhat apprehensive about it. I learned to drive in rural New Hampshire, and could easily bob and weave through muddy backroads free from traffic, driving in a city with far more traffic is one thing...but in a city where you are on the opposite side of both the car and road? Petrifying. For this reason I have not bought a car, much to the dismay of friends, family and my former boss who roasted me into oblivion when I popped in to say hello recently. It's probably time to man up and bite the bullet.
Get a Dog
Ok this one is kind of a cheat, like writing a few gimme's on the top of your to do list so you get to cross them right off and start the day off on the best foot. My friend has already but down the deposit on said future furry best friend, so this is definitely on it's way to completion, but there is still time to back out when I freak out about not having the time, or space!
Build the gym back in to my routine
In the second half of 2020, I was at the gym five nights a week and above all else I loved the sense of satisfaction I got walking out after every session. I would go both with a friend of mine to hold me accountable or alone if our schedules didn't align, and truly felt like I was creating this amazing habit. I then quickly fell off this bandwagon after the holiday season was quickly followed up by a lockdown and mask wearing. It all seemed too complicated and swiftly fell down my priority list. I want to change that. I am holding more weight than I would like, and don't fit in to any of my favourite clothes but that is last on my list of motivations for doing this. The main motivation for this resolution is rooted in that memory of how productive and accomplished I felt as an active gym go'er.
I think three is enough resolutions for now.
I could sit here and write 30 things I would like to accomplish but with a list too long, that accountability all but vanishes in to thin air.
So yeah, let's see if any of these actually happen.
As I have mentioned many times before, I view this blog as a snapshot of random parts of my life. I write most blogposts with my future self in mind, because I'm very nostalgic and obviously very self centered. I want to be able to look back and remember what it was like to be whatever year old in whichever city I was in at that moment. I want to read the drivel I spouted years ago and be transported back to my home in Hermosa Beach and how creaky the floor was in the living room, or how it had a very particular smell. I want to see a picture from 2011 and pop over to my first home in NYC, with the dark narrow hallway and the kitchen my roommate and I would sit in late at night talking about our day. I figured I would use this post to help my future self out by making it reallllll easy to remember what home looked like in 2021.
A spare room full of shoes. This tiny bed was loaned to me when I moved in because my mattress was backordered and since my actual bedroom had my entire bedroom set all ready to go, I set it up in a spare bedroom and I haven't had a chance to give it back yet because it is being held hostage by my shoes.
A rabbit pot plant that should technically be outside, but instead lives in the corner of my living room judging me always. During lockdown in a moment of peak boredom, we spent Olympic commercial breaks throwing dried apricots into his back, judgement and a game.
An assortment of Forrest Gump figurines. These are gifts from my collectable loving brother, who knows that Forrest Gump is my favourite movie so has been slowly filling my house with him. I know technically you are supposed to keep them in the box because value and all that BUT I wasted my childhood thinking my beanie bear collection was going to make me rich, so I'm not being made to feel like a fool twice in one lifetime!
A collection of ramekins. Anybody who has watched me cook, knows how much I love a good mise en place. Nothing stresses me out more than being prompted to add a diced whatsamacallit and realizing it's still sitting very undiced in my crisper. No mam, all my shit is prepped!
The closet under my stairs which is literally just a giant void for me to stash the copious amounts of reusable bags I own because I'm useless at the reusable part! One day the world will align and I will remember my grocery bags..because hey there has to be a first time for everything!
My big pink painting, which houses a giant purple penis that I can't unsee every time I walk past it.
A handful of lotions and potions and rollers and do-hickeys. This is only one small corner of my bathroom, because boy when I can be bothered, I reaaaaally like to take the time to faff about.
My bedside table that houses all the important things in life....like a Hamilton book, a Britney Spears perfume I spritz my bed with every night, a vase my friends bought me last month, an astronomically expensive nail polish (Smith & Cult are taking the absolute piss), a blood orange room diffuser that fills my entire upstairs and a hand cream because sometimes I like to pretend I'm a middle aged women in a sitcom.
A pile of yarn that lives in another spare room for the random moments I walk by and remember that I was learning to crochet.....that skill is not going anywhere fast obviously!
An assortment of cordials because I have a mild addiction to flavoured sparkling water and have recently thought fuck it, I'll make my own, La Croix who?
Waaaay too many boxes of my favourite snack....Cruskits. Am I a 28 year old woman or a teething baby? We will never know!
Speaking of snacks...
Today I was putting my groceries away. Wow, how normal and mundane. Nothing out of the ordinary here....
But if you panned to the other side of the bench...
I blacked out in the grocery store and now have five varieties of popcorn.
So that's my current homestead.
A judgey rabbit, Forrest Gump and a shedload of popcorn.
Yesterday I cleaned my whole house, went out to dinner, worked out before bed and went to sleep in fresh, clean bedding. A truly winning combination.
I had a great dream, woke up at 6am to only remember I didn't have work today so could roll over, snuggle back down and go back to sleep. I woke up to texts from my local friends trying to schedule plans, and from a long-distant friend checking in.
I opened all my curtains, and propped myself up on my bed, and suddenly realize how crummy I felt. Not physically, although my muscles do slightly hurt from working out, but that's a feeling I love! But alas, It was emotional crumminess.
So, I have been sitting here for about 30 minutes listening to Moon River by Frank Ocean on repeat.
I'm not sure what it is, but it's just hitting my emotional spot right now.
I feel like I have spoken about this many times on this old blog of mine, but every now and then I just have down days.
I'm internally a pretty content person. It's miraculous really, and I think it's probably because I'm so nauseatingly guarded, that I'm content because I know I can never let myself down.
I'm not sure, I love my own company because I trust myself. I don't trust anybody else. I have never been cheated on that I'm aware of, so this lack of trust does not stem from there. It stems from as far back as I can remember. I just internally think people will leave, and in order to protect myself from that, I never let them in to begin with.
But some days, I don't feel content.
Some days I just feel a little discombobulated, like a UPS box sturdily packaged from the outside with a smashed up vase on the inside from Bobby Mailman yeeting it over a fence.
I'll be more than ok, because I always am.
Annnnnnnyway.
I'm going to go and do a couple of my optimal mood picker uppers aka a 15 minute 90's dance workout from Youtube (https://youtu.be/TM9IXoejwC4) and blow drying my hair for like a full hour while blasting the "Main Character in a 2000s movie getting ready for the day that'll change my life" playlist on Spotify.
Greetings from the floor of my spare couch bedroom. Which is very aptly named as it is the room that has not a single thing in it except for a closet full of size 6 dresses I no longer fit in to, and a big ole, brand new couch.
The backstory behind this? When buying furniture for my new place last year I had ordered a couch online, but upon arrival one of the legs wouldn't screw in properly due to a welding error. I emailed the company and quickly received an email saying that my new item would be delivered in a few days. Fast forward those exact few days and I came home one evening to this...
Not the replacement leg I had expected, but multiple large boxes that miraculously housed a brand new sectional. I quickly flexed my arms in preparation to get this thing inside....by using said arms to call my little brother to come and do it! Not only did he bring the new one in, he also carried my other slightly less brand new sofa upstairs on his head, and dumped it in the aforementioned spare couch bedroom. A room which I use for a number of very useful things...like rolling around on the floor, and dying on the couch when I have drunkenly thrown up all over my own bed and need to get away from my poor decisions (Thankfully, this only happened once....but honestly one time was enough).
I always begin to decorate my spare bedrooms but then I remember that the borders are definitely not opening any time soon so the chances of me having long-term guests are very, very slim!
Speaking of borders not being opened any time soon....in just 25 short minutes Brisbane will be out of lockdown after 8 long days (Sorry New South Wales, but 8 days felt a long time!) All we did during lockdown was sit on the couch and watch copious amounts of Olympic events. Skateboarding? Watched it. Speed Climbing? Watched it. We watched it all!
I am truly thinking with the number of olympic events I watched I could definitely medal in any given sport at this point. Dan and I got so comically into the diving we were making calls as if we were Tom Daley in a previous life.
"Ohhhh bit low off the top...needs to tighten that up!"
"Oh wow, useless...his legs came apart in his pike..."
"Nope, fucked it, he's over rotated that one..."
Honestly, it was like an episode of Olympics based Gogglebox (Sidenote: I fucking love Gogglebox) in the living room for the past 8 days so honestly, probably a good idea we are free in just a few short minutes in alignment with the end of the Olympics.
Hip Hip Hooray, 5th lockdown in the bag! 5 is a good round number, here is hoping we love it and leave it here! *Probably jinxed it, bring on lockdown #6
I started my first blog (RIP LetmetellyouAstoria) 10 years ago, two years later I transitioned over here and have been posting on and off ever since. It's very wild to me that even after not logging on for over a year, I come back to find people have still been visiting. I don't know who you are and it may be my own Mum popping in thousands of times just to double check she didn't miss any secret posts (#numberonefan), but you are more than welcome to keep taking a wander through my twenties as much as you like!
Tomorrow I turn 28!
That is so wild!I have always felt like I would be the kind to peak in my 30's so, not to wish my life away, but I'm not stressed on this whole aging thing. I am however still nostalgic on my younger years, which is what brought me back here tonight.
At my core, I am not a social media gal. When I was 18 I remember my friends trying to convince me to get an Instagram, and I protested so deeply that it simply became a hill I would die on. I just find the idea of doing things for social media makes me really internally sad. When I am out with friends and they spend the entire night snapping pictures of themselves trying to have fun instead of actually having fun a little piece in my heart gets so sad.
With that being said though! I have always liked having a blog, for no other purpose than my own self centered need to be able to go back and revisit my life in stages. I remember one of my friends telling me once the person she stalks the most on social media was herself. She would never go back and look at every post someone else made the way she would go back and chuckle at her own and honestly, same! I'm my biggest fan (Sorry Mum, that knocks you down to number two!)
As previously mentioned, it has been over a year since my last post, and alas here we are still very much living in a Covid world! Although Australia did a great job at keeping our death toll down and returning to somewhat normal relatively quickly, we seem to be floundering a little at the moment. Here in Brisbane we are currently having to mask up inside public places, and have had a few 3 day snap lockdowns during the first 6 months of 2021. The rest of the east coast have it a little rougher right now, and even though the USA appear to be feeling young, vaccinated and free, there death rates are still insanely high so I'm definitely not complaining about where we currently are here in sunny Queensland! I'll happily sit back and wait for my vaccination in peace.
So anyway, although I have become increasingly worse at taking pictures of things I do in my old age, here is a little of what my past year has looked liked when I remembered to actually snap a picture!
Spent some time with a banana.
And some time with a fashion icon...
Ate bowls of steamed veggies on the floor....as you do.
Moved in to my first solo home in Australia! My first time having a yard, multiple bedrooms (3 of the fuckers....a little excessive) and a washing machine all to myself! It's the little things that not living in New York and Los Angeles can afford you!
I hired (lol, didn't pay) my brothers to help me move in, 10/10 service, will definitely exploit further in the future.
I still insisted on throwing up a peace sign at ever opportunity....I took this picture while sitting on my bathroom floor fresh from throwing up literally everywhere...cute.
I gave out as many care packages as humanly possible!! No opportunity too small!
I spent hundreds of dollars on plants for my backyard before quickly killing 87% of them.
I drank outside as much as humanly possible.
I let my friends hug me (just this one time though)
I got drunk in little hats (Not this one time though)
I became mildly obsessed with tracking my ancestry, that little cutie pie in the front is my grandma who passed away when I was 4.
Further back in my lineage, this pale redhead in a hat is my 5th great grandmother....she's probably getting drunk in her hat too! Runs in the family.
I bought overpriced cherry shaped toilet brushes and proceeded to send a picture to everyone I know because I love them so much I put them in all three of my bathrooms (see....space overkill! Seriously, if you want to visit Brisbane, I have room...come on by!)
I put my Christmas tree up on November 1st because Australia happily doesn't have the hurdle of Thanksgiving to pass before you can start jingling those bells.
I repeatedly yeeted this lizard off my deck by blasting him with a hose (sorry PETA) I named him Wally the Waterdragon and it was all love.
Another peace sign, vomiting picture? Seriously I can't remember to take pictures when I'm doing fun and exciting things (Lol, ok rarely) but as soon as I'm vomming I'm ready to hit some angles!
Dressed gaudily to jingled those bells again.
Fell in absolute love!
Insisted on the use of the comically large pepper grinder whenever visiting Marinara simply for the giggle it brings.
Pounded drinks with my baby brother whilst my other brother continued to be the true upstanding, adorable citizen of our family and made us all look bad.
I bullied my friend for not knowing how to read toilet signs.
Wore a giant sparkly red bow.
Ate so much ham I wanted to pass away....jk that was Declan.
Got mandated to wear a mask for the first time in January almost a year into the pandemic and didn't know how to fucking act.
Continued to drunkenly shit stir whenever possible.
Went to dinner with the worst possible stomach bug and spent the night pounding ginger beer whilst everyone else randomly decided to do shots.
Continued to teach myself how to cook (If you have been around you know this has been a multiple years journey....honestly...I'm not bad! My kids will no longer have to one day survive on cereal!)
Played boardgames on Saturday nights....young, wild and free!
Drunken Shit Stir Take 1 billion.
Had strange masked, men break into my house with their own beers in their pockets just incase my selection wasn't up to par.
Got another round of blood clots....ok that one was slightly less fun #spookyhauntedpurpleleg
Started a new job!
Got surrounded by some cute flowers.
Got so drunk I spent the next few days scrubbing literal vomit off my bedding and carpet...a low point.
Apparently wore the same outfit every time I left the house...
Discovered a whole bottle of Pinot Grigio fits into my Nutribullet cup and insisted on utilizing this life hack while getting ready to go out literally anywhere.
My one and only vase got a real work out this year!
Made sure we were considerably drunker than any other people at the table.
Hired the Turner and Sons Gardening crew to keep my backyard in line because I'm a weak little baby (aka my brothers and Dad and by hired I mean did not pay)
aaaaaaand almost died on my stairs.
This paired with a handful of hikes, a smattering of oldies concerts (can you say CCR tribute band!), some dinner dates and a routine Sunday family dinner at the end of every week is kind of what my life looks like right now. So yeah....some things change, and somethings stay exaaaaactly the same (here is looking at you messy drinker!)
