Oh hi....I'm not dead.

I started my first blog (RIP LetmetellyouAstoria) 10 years ago, two years later I transitioned over here and have been posting on and off ever since. It's very wild to me that even after not logging on for over a year, I come back to find people have still been visiting. I don't know who you are and it may be my own Mum popping in thousands of times just to double check she didn't miss any secret posts (#numberonefan), but you are more than welcome to keep taking a wander through my twenties as much as you like! 

Tomorrow I turn 28! 

 That is so wild!I have always felt like I would be the kind to peak in my 30's so, not to wish my life away, but I'm not stressed on this whole aging thing. I am however still nostalgic on my younger years, which is what brought me back here tonight. 

At my core, I am not a social media gal. When I was 18 I remember my friends trying to convince me to get an Instagram, and I protested so deeply that it simply became a hill I would die on. I just find the idea of doing things for social media makes me really internally sad. When I am out with friends and they spend the entire night snapping pictures of themselves trying to have fun instead of actually having fun a little piece in my heart gets so sad. 

With that being said though! I have always liked having a blog, for no other purpose than my own self centered need to be able to go back and revisit my life in stages. I remember one of my friends telling me once the person she stalks the most on social media was herself. She would never go back and look at every post someone else made the way she would go back and chuckle at her own and honestly, same! I'm my biggest fan (Sorry Mum, that knocks you down to number two!)

As previously mentioned, it has been over a year since my last post, and alas here we are still very much living in a Covid world! Although Australia did a great job at keeping our death toll down and returning to somewhat normal relatively quickly, we seem to be floundering a little at the moment. Here in Brisbane we are currently having to mask up inside public places, and have had a few 3 day snap lockdowns during the first 6 months of 2021. The rest of the east coast have it a little rougher right now, and even though the USA appear to be feeling young, vaccinated and free, there death rates are still insanely high so I'm definitely not complaining about where we currently are here in sunny Queensland! I'll happily sit back and wait for my vaccination in peace.

So anyway, although I have become increasingly worse at taking pictures of things I do in my old age, here is a little of what my past year has looked liked when I remembered to actually snap a picture! 

Spent some time with a banana. 

And some time with a fashion icon...

Ate bowls of steamed veggies on the floor....as you do.

Moved in to my first solo home in Australia! My first time having a yard, multiple bedrooms (3 of the fuckers....a little excessive) and a washing machine all to myself! It's the little things that not living in New York and Los Angeles can afford you!

I hired (lol, didn't pay) my brothers to help me move in, 10/10 service, will definitely exploit further in the future. 

I still insisted on throwing up a peace sign at ever opportunity....I took this picture while sitting on my bathroom floor fresh from throwing up literally everywhere...cute.

I gave out as many care packages as humanly possible!! No opportunity too small!

I spent hundreds of dollars on plants for my backyard before quickly killing 87% of them.

I drank outside as much as humanly possible.

I let my friends hug me (just this one time though)

I got drunk in little hats (Not this one time though)

I became mildly obsessed with tracking my ancestry, that little cutie pie in the front is my grandma who passed away when I was 4.

Further back in my lineage, this pale redhead in a hat is my 5th great grandmother....she's probably getting drunk in her hat too! Runs in the family. 

I bought overpriced cherry shaped toilet brushes and proceeded to send a picture to everyone I know because I love them so much I put them in all three of my bathrooms (see....space overkill! Seriously, if you want to visit Brisbane, I have room...come on by!)

I put my Christmas tree up on November 1st because Australia happily doesn't have the hurdle of Thanksgiving to pass before you can start jingling those bells.

I repeatedly yeeted this lizard off my deck by blasting him with a hose (sorry PETA) I named him Wally the Waterdragon and it was all love. 

Another peace sign, vomiting picture? Seriously I can't remember to take pictures when I'm doing fun and exciting things (Lol, ok rarely) but as soon as I'm vomming I'm ready to hit some angles!

Dressed gaudily to jingled those bells again.

Fell in absolute love! 

Insisted on the use of the comically large pepper grinder whenever visiting Marinara simply for the giggle it brings.

Pounded drinks with my baby brother whilst my other brother continued to be the true upstanding, adorable citizen of our family and made us all look bad.

I bullied my friend for not knowing how to read toilet signs.

Wore a giant sparkly red bow.

Ate so much ham I wanted to pass away....jk that was Declan.

Got mandated to wear a mask for the first time in January almost a year into the pandemic and didn't know how to fucking act. 

Continued to drunkenly shit stir whenever possible. 

Went to dinner with the worst possible stomach bug and spent the night pounding ginger beer whilst everyone else randomly decided to do shots.

Continued to teach myself how to cook (If you have been around you know this has been a multiple years journey....honestly...I'm not bad! My kids will no longer have to one day survive on cereal!)

Played boardgames on Saturday nights....young, wild and free!

 

Drunken Shit Stir Take 1 billion.

Had strange masked, men break into my house with their own beers in their pockets just incase my selection wasn't up to par. 

Got another round of blood clots....ok that one was slightly less fun #spookyhauntedpurpleleg

Started a new job! 

Got surrounded by some cute flowers.

Got so drunk I spent the next few days scrubbing literal vomit off my bedding and carpet...a low point.

Apparently wore the same outfit every time I left the house...

Discovered a whole bottle of Pinot Grigio fits into my Nutribullet cup and insisted on utilizing this life hack while getting ready to go out literally anywhere.

My one and only vase got a real work out this year!

Made sure we were considerably drunker than any other people at the table.

Hired the Turner and Sons Gardening crew to keep my backyard in line because I'm a weak little baby (aka my brothers and Dad and by hired I mean did not pay)

aaaaaaand almost died on my stairs.

This paired with a handful of hikes, a smattering of oldies concerts (can you say CCR tribute band!), some dinner dates and a routine Sunday family dinner at the end of every week is kind of what my life looks like right now. So yeah....some things change, and somethings stay exaaaaactly the same (here is looking at you messy drinker!)

She's my $oup Queen

In order to write this I have had to take my hands out from under my 34 bed covers and already I feel the blood slowing and starting to freeze. Remember that really warm December we had? Where we laughed in the face of cold? Yeah.....that's not here anymore.

To make matters worse, just last week this was my current situation...

Nobody lays about and does nothing without Billy's approval.

I was warm...and well rested...and not much else...but hey at least I was those two things!

Now, after 101 airplane Bloody Mary's, I am back in New York....freezing and jet lagged to the nines.

The Sound of...imminent jet lag. 

I never get jet lagged when I go down to Australia, instead my body syncs right up with my families hey-lets-wake-up-at-5am lifestyle, but coming back? This is where I well and truly fuck myself.

Take Monday for example, I fell asleep at 4am and woke up at 5pm, much to my surprise. As I saw the small rays of light through my window, I figured it was the sunrising and that I had won the game, but alas, that was the sun throwing up one final peace sign and laughing in my face as it vanished just moments later.

Last night I skipped sleeping all together. I figured there was no way I would be able to rest when my mind was so awake, so I simply moused around in the darkness while the world slept. When the sun began to rise in the early hours I figured that I would begin to feel drowsy as is generally the case when I force myself to stay awake until the sun returns.

To prevent this I stuck in my headphones, walked around in the freezing cold and slowly lost feeling in my nose. Nothing says, "stay awake sucker" like some freezing cold wind to the face.As I walked past the grocery store, my body was at peak frost bite and therefore my insiders were at peak "give us soup you bitch"

So I did.

Take THAT winter time

Because health....and because cold.

I was feeling very awake and productive....just casually adult-ing (well with a minor hiccup, caused by the fact that I definitely don't own a can opener....ingenuity...oh and the fact I don't know how to change the lightbulb in my bathroom so I have to have candlelit showers....so, only really minor adult-ing)

Oops.

And then 2pm hit....I was crashing. I had a great plan to simply have a power nap before going to bed at 9pm and waking up fresh as a daisy tomorrow morning. I set my alarm for only an hour and half (I used a sleep calculator...that's how serious I was) and I snuggled down to sleep.

As soon as my alarm went off? I laughed in it's stupidly loud, blaring face.

And now here I am...it's 1am and I just woke up, completely well rested and set for another night of pottering except this time it will be followed by a 9 hour shift of yawning and potential tears.

Great life choices, self.

The past is alright.

A few weeks ago I decided I would start posting throwback pictures on here...and then I forgot all about it obviously. Tonight I'm bringing that back...and before you say it, yes! I am very aware it isn't Thursday yet...but I really can't think of anything to write about tonight as my life has literally been a big jumbled blur of nothing and everything all at once for the last few days. Roll on.

I remember this month of my life so perfectly (Late January-Early February of 2005). I was 11 and this was the month my whole entire world changed. I had just moved to the United States, I remember everything. I remember my first day here, driving from Boston airport to our new home in a stretch limo, surrounded by oversized luggage. I remember going to Dunkin Donuts on the drive and ordering boiling hot chocolates for our frozen bodies that before this date had never seen snow (which my brother decided to touch whilst waiting for our limo and regretted instantly...turns out snow is cold). I remember our driver comparing Steve Urwin putting his baby in the crocodile pit to Michael Jackson dangling his baby over the balcony. I remember a conversation I had with my brother about an icicle whilst sitting outside Sugar River as my Mum set up bank accounts the next day.I remember eating so much meatball pizza in that first month. I remember the smell of our new jeep. I remember everybody following me around school on the first day bombarding me with questions about whether I ate crocodile. I remember literally everything. 

Oh and that is (was...presumed dead due to bobcat slaughter in 2011) my cat Phantom. He was given to me when I first arrived at my new home. I remember spending an hour trying to coax him out from under my mums bed before debating about whether he was a Phantom or a Zorro for the remainder of the night.....Phantom won obviously.

This was my class trip in 2011. This is just one of about 344 pictures snapped of my entire class whilst we sat huddled together freezing on the beach that day. Whenever people see those pictures they are always confused as to where everybody else is...but alas that is all of us. Just 28 kids...now adults...but always kids in my mind, initially bonded together by nothing more than age and location, but now, even as we live separate lives, bonded still. 

This was my first day of year 10 in Brisbane, Australia. As you can tell I had reached that angsty teenage phase where I wasn't overly excited about having my picture snapped in my awfully attractive uniform at 8am. This is when we lived in a rental house*** that was almost completely void of furniture as ours was all in storage after moving over from the west coast. We slept on air beds that slowly deflated through the night, our TV rested on a box in the living room and I spent most of my nights on the phone to my best friend back in Perth...much to the annoyance of my father who's dreams became overrun with my booming conversations from the room across landing. Sorry Pops.

***Said rental house. Our first Queensland home. 

This is a picture of my youngest brother that I found and couldn't not include because it melted my cold dead heart. I find it especially precious because this little munchk is now boardering on teenager and will never again be this precious little Buzz Lightyear wearing peach. 

And lastly a selfie I took when I was 15 and thought I was exceptionally cool obviously. Because at the end of the day, no matter how hard things may seem you can always be reassured that you will never again have to be a 15 year old...and if that doesn't make you feel good I'm not sure what will!