I woke up this morning in the biggest mood.
There is absolutely no reason for it.
Yesterday I cleaned my whole house, went out to dinner, worked out before bed and went to sleep in fresh, clean bedding. A truly winning combination.
I had a great dream, woke up at 6am to only remember I didn't have work today so could roll over, snuggle back down and go back to sleep. I woke up to texts from my local friends trying to schedule plans, and from a long-distant friend checking in.
I opened all my curtains, and propped myself up on my bed, and suddenly realize how crummy I felt. Not physically, although my muscles do slightly hurt from working out, but that's a feeling I love! But alas, It was emotional crumminess.
So, I have been sitting here for about 30 minutes listening to Moon River by Frank Ocean on repeat.
I'm not sure what it is, but it's just hitting my emotional spot right now.
I feel like I have spoken about this many times on this old blog of mine, but every now and then I just have down days.
I'm internally a pretty content person. It's miraculous really, and I think it's probably because I'm so nauseatingly guarded, that I'm content because I know I can never let myself down.
I'm not sure, I love my own company because I trust myself. I don't trust anybody else. I have never been cheated on that I'm aware of, so this lack of trust does not stem from there. It stems from as far back as I can remember. I just internally think people will leave, and in order to protect myself from that, I never let them in to begin with.
But some days, I don't feel content.
Some days I just feel a little discombobulated, like a UPS box sturdily packaged from the outside with a smashed up vase on the inside from Bobby Mailman yeeting it over a fence.
I'll be more than ok, because I always am.
Annnnnnnyway.
I'm going to go and do a couple of my optimal mood picker uppers aka a 15 minute 90's dance workout from Youtube (https://youtu.be/TM9IXoejwC4) and blow drying my hair for like a full hour while blasting the "Main Character in a 2000s movie getting ready for the day that'll change my life" playlist on Spotify.
Toodle-oo.
