I woke up late, couldn't find my Hunter boots, I forgot my keys so I had to run home,the train was crowded, the alarm at work kept going off, I couldn't open the office door because I'm a human who can't key, and I didn't have time to eat anything.
I was cranky, and that was even before the work day had begun!
Oh and I have a blister....
But when it eventually did start, boy did it freakin' start. At 9am a shaggy haired painter with a pink diamond grill (sick bro!) came to get my signature for some work bullshit. This is how our exchange went...
"Hi, I was told to ask for Jordyn?"
"Yes?"
"Is he here?"
"I'm Jordyn."
"Oh really? I was expecting like...I dunno a basketball player."
Seriously, 23 me one more time world!
Then I was lucky enough to spend a good hour trying to do payroll before the computer decided to freeze. I had to start all over again, just in time for it to crash completely....super swell.
That was swiftly followed by a passerby knocking over a mannequin and splintering it all over 35th st.
After I scooped up her battered body, a man came to install this picture of Adriana Lima whilst I sat there eating a bagle. It didn't help that we were wearing the same dress.Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels? Bagels....and my tears.
And a headache...
And I don't have wine....
Or cake...
Or wine.
And to top it all off my friend is dragging me to some random bar to do some random bullshit with some random people.
I keep sending her sad selfies so she will let me stay home.
No dice.
Ugh life man.
