I've had a bad day.

....like a really bad day.

I woke up late, couldn't find my Hunter boots, I forgot my keys so I had to run home,the train was crowded, the alarm at work kept going off, I couldn't open the office door because I'm a human who can't key, and I didn't have time to eat anything.

I was cranky, and that was even before the work day had begun!

But when it eventually did start, boy did it freakin' start. At 9am a shaggy haired painter with a pink diamond grill (sick bro!) came to get my signature for some work bullshit. This is how our exchange went...

"Hi, I was told to ask for Jordyn?"

"Yes?"

"Is he here?"

"I'm Jordyn."

"Oh really? I was expecting like...I dunno a basketball player."

Seriously, 23 me one more time world!

Then I was lucky enough to spend  a good hour trying to do payroll before the computer decided to freeze. I had to start all over again, just in time for it to crash completely....super swell.

That was swiftly followed by a passerby knocking over a mannequin and splintering it all over 35th st. 

After I scooped up her battered body, a man came to install this picture of Adriana Lima whilst I sat there eating a bagle. It didn't help that we were wearing the same dress.Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels? Bagels....and my tears.

Oh and I have a blister....

And a headache...

And I don't have wine....

Or cake...

Or wine.

And to top it all off my friend is dragging me to some random bar to do some random bullshit with some random people.

I keep sending her sad selfies so she will let me stay home.

No dice.

Ugh life man.