Sundays.

 

A problem for another day.

I'm the Queen of branding every thing in my life as a problem for future Jordan.

I am ruled so heavily by instant gratification and the desire to prolong the things I don't want to do that if there is any facet of my life I want to change I'm quick to set the start date as the 1st day of next week....or the 1st of the month....or the 1st of the year. I am the person who buys tons of cute workout clothes prior to beginning any fitness journey, before leaving the actual fitness part for future Jordan to worry about.

I know the key to success is starting today, it's finding that mindset of ok sure, you fell off your bike whilst learning to ride, don't throw the whole bike away and worry about learning to do it some other time, simply pick it up and keep going down that track.

Speaking of learning to ride a bike, I rocked those training wheels for faaaaar too long. I waited until long after my next door neighbour was whizzing around me sans training wheels as I pitter pattered along the pavement alongside his younger sister, hoping she wouldn't whip hers off anytime soon so I had a partner in being a scaredy-cat. I remember my Dad taking me down to a local park to teach me, one wobble and I had my arms folded tightly across my chest. Yep, this is future Jordan's problem! The pressure to learn stressed me out, why was everybody rushing me! Then one afternoon, I went out into my cul de sac all alone, pulled out my bike and taught myself how to use it. After I had it mastered I ran out the back to grab my Mum and her boyfriend at the time to casually inform them of my new skill. Yep, nailed it. 

The same goes with swimming. I had those water wings on way too late, because they were comfy and stress free. Sure, my older brother seemed to do everything before his time and would constantly pester me about how much of a baby my lack of skills made me, but see learning all these things? Meh, Future Jordan's problem. Training wheels were safe. Floaties were safe. I wasn't hurting anyone, I was just putting it off for a more suitable day. 

Yeah girl you rock those floaties in a literal hot tub....you will certainly drown here.

This is a long round about way of saying that I'm the kind of person who would set a New Years resolution, fail on February 13th and pack it in for the next 10 months. I'll give it a go next year. 

I'm trying to get better at that.

Now, I have majority of the major life skills mastered by this stage but that doesn't mean there aren't things sitting on my things to worry about in the future list.

Therefore, here are my August 20th resolutions-

Buy a Car

I have lived in Brisbane for exactly (like to the day) two years. I have spent those two years getting around via public transport, Uber, family and friends! I have had my license for 12 years, I physically can drive buuuuut after living in NYC for many years, public transport became second nature. I didn't drive, I rode. I got so comfortable being able to get anywhere with my backpack, headphones and two feet that the thought of owning a car seemed unnecessary. Cut forward to my time in Los Angeles, I was averaging $800 a month on Uber, opting for this stress free way of weaving through traffic every day. My lack of time spent behind the wheel of late has made me somewhat apprehensive about it. I learned to drive in rural New Hampshire, and could easily bob and weave through muddy backroads free from traffic, driving in a city with far more traffic is one thing...but in a city where you are on the opposite side of both the car and road? Petrifying. For this reason I have not bought a car, much to the dismay of friends, family and my former boss who roasted me into oblivion when I popped in to say hello recently. It's probably time to man up and bite the bullet.

Get a Dog

Ok this one is kind of a cheat, like writing a few gimme's on the top of your to do list so you get to cross them right off and start the day off on the best foot. My friend has already but down the deposit on said future furry best friend, so this is definitely on it's way to completion, but there is still time to back out when I freak out about not having the time, or space! 

Build the gym back in to my routine

In the second half of 2020, I was at the gym five nights a week and above all else I loved the sense of satisfaction I got walking out after every session. I would go both with a friend of mine to hold me accountable or alone if our schedules didn't align, and truly felt like I was creating this amazing habit. I then quickly fell off this bandwagon after the holiday season was quickly followed up by a lockdown and mask wearing. It all seemed too complicated and swiftly fell down my priority list. I want to change that. I am holding more weight than I would like, and don't fit in to any of my favourite clothes but that is last on my list of motivations for doing this. The main motivation for this resolution is rooted in that memory of how productive and accomplished I felt as an active gym go'er. 

I think three is enough resolutions for now.

I could sit here and write 30 things I would like to accomplish but with a list too long, that accountability all but vanishes in to thin air. 

So yeah, let's see if any of these actually happen.

Time will tell.

The shit we fill our homes with.

As I have mentioned many times before, I view this blog as a snapshot of random parts of my life. I write most blogposts with my future self in mind, because I'm very nostalgic and obviously very self centered.  I want to be able to look back and remember what it was like to be whatever year old in whichever city I was in at that moment. I want to read the drivel I spouted years ago and be transported back to my home in Hermosa Beach and how creaky the floor was in the living room, or how it had a very particular smell. I want to see a picture from 2011 and pop over to my first home in NYC, with the dark narrow hallway and the kitchen my roommate and I would sit in late at night talking about our day. I figured I would use this post to help my future self out by making it reallllll easy to remember what home looked like in 2021.

A spare room full of shoes. This tiny bed was loaned to me when I moved in because my mattress was backordered and since my actual bedroom had my entire bedroom set all ready to go, I set it up in a spare bedroom and I haven't had a chance to give it back yet because it is being held hostage by my shoes. 

A rabbit pot plant that should technically be outside, but instead lives in the corner of my living room judging me always. During lockdown in a moment of peak boredom, we spent Olympic commercial breaks throwing dried apricots into his back, judgement and a game. 

An assortment of Forrest Gump figurines. These are gifts from my collectable loving brother, who knows that Forrest Gump is my favourite movie so has been slowly filling my house with him. I know technically you are supposed to keep them in the box because value and all that BUT I wasted my childhood thinking my beanie bear collection was going to make me rich, so I'm not being made to feel like a fool twice in one lifetime! 

A collection of ramekins. Anybody who has watched me cook, knows how much I love a good mise en place. Nothing stresses me out more than being prompted to add a diced whatsamacallit and realizing it's still sitting very undiced in my crisper. No mam, all my shit is prepped! 

The closet under my stairs which is literally just a giant void for me to stash the copious amounts of reusable bags I own because I'm useless at the reusable part! One day the world will align and I will remember my grocery bags..because hey there has to be a first time for everything!

My big pink painting, which houses a giant purple penis that I can't unsee every time I walk past it.

A handful of lotions and potions and rollers and do-hickeys. This is only one small corner of my bathroom, because boy when I can be bothered, I reaaaaally like to take the time to faff about.

My bedside table that houses all the important things in life....like a Hamilton book, a Britney Spears perfume I spritz my bed with every night, a vase my friends bought me last month, an astronomically expensive nail polish (Smith & Cult are taking the absolute piss), a blood orange room diffuser that fills my entire upstairs and a hand cream because sometimes I like to pretend I'm a middle aged women in a sitcom. 

A pile of yarn that lives in another spare room for the random moments I walk by and remember that I was learning to crochet.....that skill is not going anywhere fast obviously! 

An assortment of cordials because I have a mild addiction to flavoured sparkling water and have recently thought fuck it, I'll make my own, La Croix who? 

Waaaay too many boxes of my favourite snack....Cruskits. Am I a 28 year old woman or a teething baby? We will never know! 

Speaking of snacks...

Today I was putting my groceries away. Wow, how normal and mundane. Nothing out of the ordinary here....

But if you panned to the other side of the bench...

I blacked out in the grocery store and now have five varieties of popcorn. 

So that's my current homestead.

A judgey rabbit, Forrest Gump and a shedload of popcorn.

Sounds about right. 

Music Monday XVI

Da Ba Dee, Da Ba Daa

 I woke up this morning in the biggest mood.

There is absolutely no reason for it.

Yesterday I cleaned my whole house, went out to dinner, worked out before bed and went to sleep in fresh, clean bedding. A truly winning combination.

I had a great dream, woke up at 6am to only remember I didn't have work today so could roll over, snuggle back down and go back to sleep. I woke up to texts from my local friends trying to schedule plans, and from a long-distant friend checking in. 

I opened all my curtains, and propped myself up on my bed, and suddenly realize how crummy I felt. Not physically, although my muscles do slightly hurt from working out, but that's a feeling I love! But alas, It was emotional crumminess. 

So, I have been sitting here for about 30 minutes listening to Moon River by Frank Ocean on repeat. 

I'm not sure what it is, but it's just hitting my emotional spot right now.

I feel like I have spoken about this many times on this old blog of mine, but every now and then I just have down days. 

I'm internally a pretty content person. It's miraculous really, and I think it's probably because I'm so nauseatingly guarded, that I'm content because I know I can never let myself down. 

I'm not sure, I love my own company because I trust myself. I don't trust anybody else. I have never been cheated on that I'm aware of, so this lack of trust does not stem from there. It stems from as far back as I can remember. I just internally think people will leave, and in order to protect myself from that, I never let them in to begin with.  

But some days, I don't feel content.

Some days I just feel a little discombobulated, like a UPS box sturdily packaged from the outside with a smashed up vase on the inside from Bobby Mailman yeeting it over a fence. 

I'll be more than ok, because I always am.

Annnnnnnyway.

I'm going to go and do a couple of my optimal mood picker uppers aka a 15 minute 90's dance workout from Youtube (https://youtu.be/TM9IXoejwC4) and blow drying my hair for like a full hour while blasting the "Main Character in a 2000s movie getting ready for the day that'll change my life" playlist on Spotify.

Toodle-oo.

Music Monday XV

 

Mood: Locked Down

Greetings from the floor of my spare couch bedroom. Which is very aptly named as it is the room that has not a single thing in it except for a closet full of size 6 dresses I no longer fit in to, and a big ole, brand new couch.

The backstory behind this? When buying furniture for my new place last year I had ordered a couch online, but upon arrival one of the legs wouldn't screw in properly due to a welding error. I emailed the company and quickly received an email saying that my new item would be delivered in a few days. Fast forward those exact few days and I came home one evening to this...

Not the replacement leg I had expected, but multiple large boxes that miraculously housed a brand new sectional. I quickly flexed my arms in preparation to get this thing inside....by using said arms to call my little brother to come and do it! Not only did he bring the new one in, he also carried my other slightly less brand new sofa upstairs on his head, and dumped it in the aforementioned spare couch bedroom. A room which I use for a number of very useful things...like rolling around on the floor, and dying on the couch when I have drunkenly thrown up all over my own bed and need to get away from my poor decisions (Thankfully, this only happened once....but honestly one time was enough).

I always begin to decorate my spare bedrooms but then I remember that the borders are definitely not opening any time soon so the chances of me having long-term guests are very, very slim! 

Speaking of borders not being opened any time soon....in just 25 short minutes Brisbane will be out of lockdown after 8 long days (Sorry New South Wales, but 8 days felt a long time!) All we did during lockdown was sit on the couch and watch copious amounts of Olympic events. Skateboarding? Watched it. Speed Climbing? Watched it. We watched it all! 

I am truly thinking with the number of olympic events I watched I could definitely medal in any given sport at this point. Dan and I got so comically into the diving we were making calls as if we were Tom Daley in a previous life.

"Ohhhh bit low off the top...needs to tighten that up!"

"Oh wow, useless...his legs came apart in his pike..."

"Nope, fucked it, he's over rotated that one..."

 Honestly, it was like an episode of Olympics based Gogglebox (Sidenote: I fucking love Gogglebox) in the living room for the past 8 days so honestly, probably a good idea we are free in just a few short minutes in alignment with the end of the Olympics. 

Hip Hip Hooray, 5th lockdown in the bag! 5 is a good round number, here is hoping we love it and leave it here! *Probably jinxed it, bring on lockdown #6

 

Music Monday XIV

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