Oh hi....I'm not dead.

I started my first blog (RIP LetmetellyouAstoria) 10 years ago, two years later I transitioned over here and have been posting on and off ever since. It's very wild to me that even after not logging on for over a year, I come back to find people have still been visiting. I don't know who you are and it may be my own Mum popping in thousands of times just to double check she didn't miss any secret posts (#numberonefan), but you are more than welcome to keep taking a wander through my twenties as much as you like! 

Tomorrow I turn 28! 

 That is so wild!I have always felt like I would be the kind to peak in my 30's so, not to wish my life away, but I'm not stressed on this whole aging thing. I am however still nostalgic on my younger years, which is what brought me back here tonight. 

At my core, I am not a social media gal. When I was 18 I remember my friends trying to convince me to get an Instagram, and I protested so deeply that it simply became a hill I would die on. I just find the idea of doing things for social media makes me really internally sad. When I am out with friends and they spend the entire night snapping pictures of themselves trying to have fun instead of actually having fun a little piece in my heart gets so sad. 

With that being said though! I have always liked having a blog, for no other purpose than my own self centered need to be able to go back and revisit my life in stages. I remember one of my friends telling me once the person she stalks the most on social media was herself. She would never go back and look at every post someone else made the way she would go back and chuckle at her own and honestly, same! I'm my biggest fan (Sorry Mum, that knocks you down to number two!)

As previously mentioned, it has been over a year since my last post, and alas here we are still very much living in a Covid world! Although Australia did a great job at keeping our death toll down and returning to somewhat normal relatively quickly, we seem to be floundering a little at the moment. Here in Brisbane we are currently having to mask up inside public places, and have had a few 3 day snap lockdowns during the first 6 months of 2021. The rest of the east coast have it a little rougher right now, and even though the USA appear to be feeling young, vaccinated and free, there death rates are still insanely high so I'm definitely not complaining about where we currently are here in sunny Queensland! I'll happily sit back and wait for my vaccination in peace.

So anyway, although I have become increasingly worse at taking pictures of things I do in my old age, here is a little of what my past year has looked liked when I remembered to actually snap a picture! 

Spent some time with a banana. 

And some time with a fashion icon...

Ate bowls of steamed veggies on the floor....as you do.

Moved in to my first solo home in Australia! My first time having a yard, multiple bedrooms (3 of the fuckers....a little excessive) and a washing machine all to myself! It's the little things that not living in New York and Los Angeles can afford you!

I hired (lol, didn't pay) my brothers to help me move in, 10/10 service, will definitely exploit further in the future. 

I still insisted on throwing up a peace sign at ever opportunity....I took this picture while sitting on my bathroom floor fresh from throwing up literally everywhere...cute.

I gave out as many care packages as humanly possible!! No opportunity too small!

I spent hundreds of dollars on plants for my backyard before quickly killing 87% of them.

I drank outside as much as humanly possible.

I let my friends hug me (just this one time though)

I got drunk in little hats (Not this one time though)

I became mildly obsessed with tracking my ancestry, that little cutie pie in the front is my grandma who passed away when I was 4.

Further back in my lineage, this pale redhead in a hat is my 5th great grandmother....she's probably getting drunk in her hat too! Runs in the family. 

I bought overpriced cherry shaped toilet brushes and proceeded to send a picture to everyone I know because I love them so much I put them in all three of my bathrooms (see....space overkill! Seriously, if you want to visit Brisbane, I have room...come on by!)

I put my Christmas tree up on November 1st because Australia happily doesn't have the hurdle of Thanksgiving to pass before you can start jingling those bells.

I repeatedly yeeted this lizard off my deck by blasting him with a hose (sorry PETA) I named him Wally the Waterdragon and it was all love. 

Another peace sign, vomiting picture? Seriously I can't remember to take pictures when I'm doing fun and exciting things (Lol, ok rarely) but as soon as I'm vomming I'm ready to hit some angles!

Dressed gaudily to jingled those bells again.

Fell in absolute love! 

Insisted on the use of the comically large pepper grinder whenever visiting Marinara simply for the giggle it brings.

Pounded drinks with my baby brother whilst my other brother continued to be the true upstanding, adorable citizen of our family and made us all look bad.

I bullied my friend for not knowing how to read toilet signs.

Wore a giant sparkly red bow.

Ate so much ham I wanted to pass away....jk that was Declan.

Got mandated to wear a mask for the first time in January almost a year into the pandemic and didn't know how to fucking act. 

Continued to drunkenly shit stir whenever possible. 

Went to dinner with the worst possible stomach bug and spent the night pounding ginger beer whilst everyone else randomly decided to do shots.

Continued to teach myself how to cook (If you have been around you know this has been a multiple years journey....honestly...I'm not bad! My kids will no longer have to one day survive on cereal!)

Played boardgames on Saturday nights....young, wild and free!

 

Drunken Shit Stir Take 1 billion.

Had strange masked, men break into my house with their own beers in their pockets just incase my selection wasn't up to par. 

Got another round of blood clots....ok that one was slightly less fun #spookyhauntedpurpleleg

Started a new job! 

Got surrounded by some cute flowers.

Got so drunk I spent the next few days scrubbing literal vomit off my bedding and carpet...a low point.

Apparently wore the same outfit every time I left the house...

Discovered a whole bottle of Pinot Grigio fits into my Nutribullet cup and insisted on utilizing this life hack while getting ready to go out literally anywhere.

My one and only vase got a real work out this year!

Made sure we were considerably drunker than any other people at the table.

Hired the Turner and Sons Gardening crew to keep my backyard in line because I'm a weak little baby (aka my brothers and Dad and by hired I mean did not pay)

aaaaaaand almost died on my stairs.

This paired with a handful of hikes, a smattering of oldies concerts (can you say CCR tribute band!), some dinner dates and a routine Sunday family dinner at the end of every week is kind of what my life looks like right now. So yeah....some things change, and somethings stay exaaaaactly the same (here is looking at you messy drinker!)

It's gonna be Ma....June.

Annnnnnd just like that May is almost over.

2020 has been a bit of a blur year for me (only me,  for everybody else life is totally normal right?) It's a weird kind of blur as well. It hasn't been a blur of busy, busy, go, go time that keeps your mind entertained 24/7, no, it's pretty much the exact opposite of that! Long days of not much!

I know I have spoken about this before, but it really is crazy that when you get older you suddenly realize that this day to day, mundane life stuff is life itself. When you are younger you are constantly working towards the next thing. The next school year, next school holidays, hell next school disco! These big asterisks on the calendar always felt like the things that make up a life, but then you meet your old mate hindsight and realize that oh actually...getting up every day, chomping a piece of toast and putting on your school uniform for the umpteenth day in a row....that was life. Routine, the day in, day out stuff....that's life, man. 

I often think about how I felt when I first moved to New York. After my second week of college, I remember stressing about how I would spend my first real weekend. I didn't have a job, I was broke and I had a singular friend. We met up, walked around the city aimlessly and kept sitting down on random benches to recalculate our plans throughout the day. We worked so hard that day to do cool things, wanting to have something to tell our friends about how we spent our first weekend in New York. Then it hit us, oh shit...what are we going to do on Sunday though? Ugh, we have to find big things to do again tomorrow! I remember speaking to my mum on the phone after that day...

"I really need to find a job, that way I have less time to fill in the day!"

I think about that a lot, a time where days seemed too long because I felt this weird teenage pressure to always be doing fun and exciting things. As I grew up I realized that excitement doesn't make a life. 

When I realized this, I think I got a little happier. Now, don't get me wrong...I still have asterisks on the calendar of things I want to do down the track...but I don't feel like I'm underachieving when I'm just crushing the day to day monotony. Heck, I even enjoy it. 

A little look at my monotony recently...

It's a nice day for a....dog wedding!

When I moved back to Australia I was rudely unaware that I would no longer be able to order Glossier and more importantly to this story, BabyFacial by Drunk Elephant. I shed a single tear and then went about searching for alternatives for my chemical peeling needs! It took me almost 8 months but I finally found a place to order The Ordinary AHA and BHA solution, and after waiting almost two months! It finally arrived and my dead skin finally got the ass kicking it deserved!

It's getting colder here in Australia, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't be out lazing about in the sun when given the chance!

Sometimes the onions just get a bit too juicy, you know?

Sometimes you just have to put on your Carol Baskin jammies and cuddle with your elephant!

Last week I realized my tan faded and suddenly my legs were the same colour as my boots.

My deep vein thrombosis and the post thrombotic syndrome it brought with it means that after a long day of being on my feet, my left leg is the size of a small country....poor Jordy Jordy Fat Feet.

I like to wear long flow-y dresses so they flutter about as I strut. It really does something for your self esteem, you should give it a try! 

It's constantly shocking to me how every single man I have ever met insists on making the biggest mess possible whilst cooking. Clean as you go? Who the hell is that!

I have been loving a good walk recently. Have you ever had a cold and suddenly you are not able to breathe out of your nose? You curse the times you took for granted the ability to breathe! After months of not being able to breathe properly because of my clotted lungs and having pain pulsing through my leg whenever I tried to walk, I'm finally at a place where moving and being out and about feels good again! I've been having Forrest Gump epiphanies when I hit a turning point on my walk, I don't want to stop...so I turn the other direction and keep on going. Am I planning to cross the country? Definitely not! Am I enjoying roaming the suburbs? Absolutely! 

I've been eating bowls and bowls of steamed broccoli and green beans at work because I'm trying to eat healthy to un-swell my body.....as you can tell.....it's been going great!

Aaaaand I chopped my mop because honestly after a long quarantine of messy buns, I deserved it!