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Showing posts with label 20's. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 20's. Show all posts

Help!

Wednesday, February 11, 2015





 I've recently become obsessed with the The Beatles. The music has always been appreciated simply because I have ears and I think the rest is history, but as of late I've become more and more fascinated with the men behind it.

It all stemmed from a dream I had, and somehow melted in to me just watching documentary after documentary, interview after interview. It's quite sad really as it has kind of cut into my Harry Styles obsession but hey there is plenty of crazy to go around!

The last interview I watched was a recent interview with Ringo Starr, where he basically spoke for ten minutes about how he really is the luckiest person in the world. It's no secret that he was far from the best drummer in the world, yet it's what he loved and it's what he got to spend his entire life doing. He spoke about being a musician and thanked his lucky stars (pun intended) that he gets to call it a career for he has never truly had to work a day in his life.

I want that.

Well I mean...not the drumming or the fame...but the obsession, the love of ones job. I want to love something so much that it doesn't feel like work. I don't want to choose whether I live to work or work to live, I don't want it to matter because I want my work to be a part of me as cliche as it seems.

I could watch JK Rowling talk about Harry Potter all day. She loves what she has created, she knows every single facet. She is obsessed.

I want to be obsessed.

Even on the mundane level, even if my love is something as simple as working in an office for the rest of my life, I want to find it.

I like my job right now, but it's simply a stepping stone on cobbled path and I'm dying to get to the destination.

I know they say you shouldn't wish your life away, but if we could speed up the discovery, or at least give me some kind of road map on how to get there my deepening frown lines and frustrated tear ducts would really appreciate the break.

21 is hard.




2015

Monday, January 19, 2015






January is more than halfway over so I believe it's time for me to start committing to change this year.   For the last few years I haven't been overly happy with my situation. I've mentioned it before, a constant feeling of dishevelment that I can't seem to shake. I feel as if everyone around me has their lives together in every sense of the word and I can't even master one little portion. I used to mask this with constant movement. If I was always out... busy... intoxicated, I never had time to truly reflect on how much I wasn't actually doing. I've since ramped up my flakiness and have been spending a lot less time on my distractions, allowing me to mentally grow the fuck up and realize that I can actually make progress at any time....I just have to kind of...well...do it.

So that's what I'm doing...I'm doing it....

Whatever the heck "it" is...well I'll figure that bit out later.