Today on the way to work I was in my typical,resting bitch face, staring off into space mode when the train decided to do it's usual stop mid-journey to hover between two stations and make me late for work thing that it always does at the most inconvenient of times. The longer we sat, the more annoyed I got and after a good five minutes I was huffing with frustration. I stared more intently out the window and realized we had stopped at the perfect midpoint across the Williamsburg Bridge that allowed a perfect view of not only the Empire State Building and Brooklyn Bridge but also the Statue of Liberty off in the distance.
I felt like an asshole.
People dream of this city, I dreamed of this city! These are landmarks that people pay thousands of dollars to come and see, people see these things and take pictures and treasure the memories of their wild adventures in the Big Apple and here I was numb to it all. I had seen these things so many times I had stopped caring, they had stopped being cool, but in that moment I let my mind rewind back to that young girl in Western Australia. That little girl that thought America was this crazy land of lights and movies. I would watch movies and see all the sights of NYC and it all seemed so cool, so different to where I was from, my best friend and I would spend hours talking in awful American accents because it all seemed so cool! Yet, here I was in the middle of it and after a few short years I was over it?
I was no longer a tourist using this city as a prop or backdrop for my happy holiday snaps. Times Square was no longer a destination it was just part of the commute. I didn't go to Grand Central to take pictures and pretend I was in a movie, I went their to take a train to work or school or something awfully mundane. At that moment it truly upset me how over it I thought I was.
I don't know where I'll end up, or even where I'll be this time next year. I have no idea what anything holds but I do know that New York is probably not a forever thing, and I want to be able to look back on this time in the years to come and to appreciate what I was doing and where I was doing it. I hope one day I can tell my kids that I lived in New York and they think it is as cool as 8 year old Jordyn thought it to be.
I have to be up in three hours to make sleeping cutie (he's asleep and he's cute....like what I did their...it's a play on words...sleeping beauty? HAH I'm funny...hah...no? ok) yoga with me and at this rate it is probably going to turn into hey how about we don't and say we did? Oh and you are going to make me waffles? Splendid.
Life Updates:
- I'm sick. Due to almost every person in my life at the moment coughing their sickness all over me, I have finally caught something. I predict I have about a week left to live and I plan to spend it drugged up on Nyquil.
- Last night I had a dream that I was pregnant and on the day I was supposed to give birth we had a huge party in my childhood home where I was also delivering the baby. I even uttered the words "I'm just going to go give birth real quick so I can come and eat with you guys!" I thought it was a weird funny dream until Calvin told me that dreaming of birth means someone is going to die. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? As if I need more paranoia!
- Today another creepy man followed me down the street and kept saying weird shit to me until I escaped down into the subway. It's always me man!
- A man at the bar last night told me I had a sexy little mouth....I am normally very self conscious of how tiny my mouth is in comparison to my gigantic forehead....so that was a high point of my week....it's the little things people.
