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A mans world.

Saturday, November 9, 2024

Donald Trump is not my President....because I don't live in the US anymore.

In 2016 I was still based in New York and was right near Trump Tower when the results came in.

As soon as it was confirmed it was as if people sprouted from the concrete in immediate protest. Although there was anger in the air, the underlying feeling was almost disbelief that somehow the butt of the joke had pulled it off.

Somehow though, this time feels sadder.

It's been 8 years, and in that time this man has taken every opportunity to show the ugliness that lives inside him. At first you think, hmm maybe he is in on the joke? Over inflating his ego for comedic effect? Is it a bit? A poorly thought out character? Then the phrase "when someone shows you who they are, believe them" snaps you out of the confused haze and you realize, oh no...this is no act, this is an egomaniac, gassed up and self serving to his core. The world lays beneath him and as long as he is on top, he doesn't care what state it rots in.

Somehow we ended up here again.

To strip back political parties, red and blue, at it's core we were at the crossroads between decent and disgust and we veered swiftly into the swamp. 

There will always be differing opinions, different beliefs and ideals but there are also good humans and bad humans. There are people who work hard and are empathetic to those around them, people who have compassion and those who don't. There are people who have been given everything they have, and expect more, who spit the dummy when things don't go their way, and respond with hatred at every possible turn.

There are people with experience in spades, and people who have bluffed their way to the top.

That is what truly scares me.

An arrogant, entitled man showing the world that nothing has changed. That you can be a narcissistic asshole, never stopping for even a nanosecond to think of anybody else, and people will adorn your name and push power into your hands. With ego your only compass, forging forward, sneering and showing other young egomaniacs how the world still belongs to them.

Young girls wake again to see another highly qualified woman be denied her chance to try.

My heart genuinely hurts for those robbed of the opportunity for a glimpse of hope. Young girls who have to listen to the men in their life jeer and boast about Donald Trump and all he represents. Who have to accept the fact that an under qualified felon is somehow a more acceptable choice than a highly qualified woman. That compassion and empathy are not characteristics we expect from those entrusted to lead. 




Things on my mind lately.

Saturday, November 2, 2024









  • My dogs chronic ear infections. 
  • How it's possible to have I love you, I'm Sorry by Gracie Abrams literally rolling in a constant loop in my brain 24/7. To top it off, it's all because I saw a Tiktok of a girl figure skating to it and twirling around all majestically and I thought to myself, that seems like a euphoric feeling, maybe I should learn to ice skate and twirl around.
  • My inability to love
  • How fun girlhood is. It's truly so fun. 
  • How much I love knowing random interests and hobbies about my friends and family...truly, like please let me see your Spotify wrapped, tell me all your secrets! Who is your weird celebrity crush? What weird shit did you do as a child? I have to know! 
  • Nancy Meyers home decor.
  • If I really fell asleep at the head spa the other week or if I was just uber zen and if I was asleep how long was I out for, and did I chat to myself as I do notoriously talk in my sleep.
  •  How I deeply love how content I am in myself and my life but yet can't help but wonder if I was a bit more driven, motivated or even insecure in myself if I would have pushed for more, like sure content is very stress free and pleasant but is it secretly the thief of like....utter joy? I am mostly happy, but click your heels together, overwhelming love and joy? I don't think I know her.
  • How I really wanted to decorate my house for Halloween but at the same time...it's Spring. I have flowers coming out of my ears at the moment, but it feels chaotic to throw in some pumpkins when it's not even fall? 
  • Where the hell my scissors went?
  • How I don't think I have ever, even for a moment, not treated myself. Even when I was 18, and my paycheck did not even cover my rent, I would eat a Whatchamacallit on my walk home from work at 1am, partially in an effort to not pass out due to lack of food, but primarily because I always deserve a little treat at all times, also the world, I deserve that too.
  • Where my phone went after I woke up with a concussion after our house party in 2013...did I actually throw it out the window? Also what photos were on that thing, I would love to know! I was always very drunk and messy at that time so it probably held some gold!
  • How if I could dress like any singular person in my day to day life it would be the flashy girl from Flushing.
  • Secondary thought to above, I was always weirdly attracted to Ray Romano, so maybe I'm destined to be in Queens (ignoring the fact that I did live there when I was 18...would be a bummer if I failed at my destiny at such a young age!)



October.

Thursday, October 31, 2024

 


10 points if you can tell the day I thought I was going to pass away…..it’s a tricky one!




Childhood Revisted

Sunday, October 13, 2024

 

In case you are new here, I was raised in Perth, Western Australia. You wouldn't be faulted for not knowing this fact as I have lived in many cities around the world, in fact if you wanted to get technical I claim two very different hometowns, one the aforementioned city by the Indian Ocean and the other snowy little village in rural New England. I spent my formative years in both, but alas this post is about Perth.

I haven't been back to this street I grew up on in 16 years...over half my life I have been away. My first thought when I went back was how small it felt. What a cliche, I know, but in my memories these streets were vast and wide. These streets held pretty much my entire early childhood. I used to ride my bike around them day dreaming, I delivered newspapers every single Tuesday and Thursday to each letterbox, my childhood soulmate of a friend and next-door neighbor since the age of 3 and I would annually wander around and sell chocolates to fundraise for our brothers football teams (our favourite house of course being the elderly lady who lived behind me and who, although she couldn't eat chocolate, would purchase a box for us to have instead. We would start there and then happily snack on Maltesers as we went door to door for the entire afternoon.)



From the age of 6 or so, my older brother would walk me to school and we would have arguments about this spare piece of land down the laneway from our house. It was by far the quickest way to the school but was for sure home to some snakes I didn't want to encounter, yet he would often insist I suck it up and we gross the spare land to school Somedays I would protest and insist on walking through the long way instead. I have vivid memories of sprinting up the hill to cut through the alley way, my backpack slapping against my body to ensure I beat him there insisting it didn't take that much longer, arriving to the meeting spot out of breath, to an unbothered Sam, never conceding to my route requests.


I dragged Dan from pillar to post, or laneway to laneway, in each direction, rattling off stories about how many hours I spent in them because they were the spots where my friends and I would split off on our walks home from school so evidently we would linger there finishing up our chats before going our separate ways.


I stood in the middle of the street outside my home in the rain, and instantly remembered the time my childhood best friend and I on a 9 year old hyperactive high both ran around in the rain playing some hybrid duck duck goose game we affectionally labelled plum pudding. It basically involved us running around the cul-de-sac in the downpour saying duck, duck, duck.... before yelling plum pudding and running in circles cracking up at god knows what and ended rather abruptly with my Mum yelling at us to get inside. We then changed out of our drenched school uniforms into my brothers old oversized hoodies before laying around watching Lizzie McGuire in the lounge.


It was lovely to see it's only sole remaining resident from my time there, Marilyn. Marilyn lived next door to me and in the only house on the street that wasn't occupied by children (Although she did have a granddaughter, Amy, who would visit sometimes and play with me in the front yard. I even passed along all my Barbies to her one day in a moment of selflessness that I regretted almost instantly.) Marilyn would spend many an afternoons chatting to me as I hung out in the front yard, encouraged me to play on her lawn as my front yard was all brick and she had the perfect "What's the time Mr. Wolf?" tree, she knitted everyone in the street scarves, gave us gifts when we drew her pictures and once invited us around to swim in her pool as it was warmer than ours leaving my Mum very confused as she looked into our garden to the sounds of us yelling and splashing away but didn't see us in the pool as expected, popping her head over the fence in confusion to us hangin' with Marilyn instead.

This street means a lot to me...or I guess, it did. Going back felt like closing a chapter I didn't even realize was still open. As we drove away from it, to the hugely different Perth surrounds I turned to Dan to declare I don't think I need to come back. Is it cheesy to say I felt like I had said goodbye? I think in the original moment when you move away from somewhere so important it's hard to view the move as permanent. I remember when I had driven away from it previously as a child, I couldn't get over the fact that I would never shower in that home again. Oddly that was what I couldn't get over. Suuuuurely I would be back soon, I decided, somehow mentally ignoring the "Sold" sign wedged into the dirt. On that original departure, I scanned the surrounds as we drove out, the cars of longtime neighbors, the signs of familiarity of homes filled with people I knew and had such strong memories with. Now though, those homes are just houses. All the people, besides Marilyn, had left. The children are grown and some had children of their own in their own cul-de-sacs.  As I left now, I felt oddly content that this place lived in the past and although happy to see it, a sense of attachment had since detached.


After my little nostalgia tour, we began our actual holiday. Hopping a ferry to Rottnest Island, also a place of my childhood, but so far back the memories are nonexistent so instead I was free to create new ones.  

Which I swiftly did, like using my E-bike wrong even after I insisted on the tutorial or it's chain completely falling off as I flew down a hill or swiftly getting my linen pants caught on the handlebars as I swung my leg over so I faceplanted into the concrete as Dan absolutely pissed himself. 

Peep the bruises, and ask yourself did she go on vacation or to battle?



We spent three days cycling around the bays, as I waffled on about my deep love for the Indian Ocean. 


Dan insisted on doing the entire island loop. I insisted on not doing that and instead rode for a few hours before parking my ass in the sand to read my book and eat fresh fruit and chips and guac.


We got up early to ride around whilst the island slept and before ferry's full of day visitors arrived.



I failed at taking a Quokka selfie, in fact I failed at taking any good picture of them at all. Quokkas famously smile....but not for me! Every single one I tried to snap looked like it was plotting my imminent death.


Like...are you all talking poorly about me? Why do you all hate me so much?


The quokkas have no enemies on the island (except now me....and every single shop keeper apparently!)


So they roam everywhere like little celebrities always surrounded by tourists flopped down on their bellies like a hoard of eager paparazzo's. It's a tough life being adored I guess!


All in all, a fab little trip west. As our ferry bobbed away I insisted we return soon, scrolling through my calendar for dates.


Side Note: We stayed at the Samphire and it was fab. My parents are big fans of self contained accommodation and I personally think that shit is a living nightmare. If I wanted to contain my own space I would have stayed at home, When I travel I want a pillow menu, an overpriced mini bar I will raid at midnight and copious amounts of room, thank you so kindly.  









Septembers over and we are wakin' up!

Tuesday, October 1, 2024





Hello my fellow fashion models. 

I call this photo, a slow burning breakdown. which I'm unhappy to report was my entire vibe for September 2024.

When I lived in the US, specifically when I was North-East based, October was my favourite month. The zapping heat had subsided, the trees had well and truly started to brown, pumpkins took over the world and the daunting gloom of a frigid winter hadn't entered the chat yet. So the moral of the story here is that I'm trying to pull a little of that October loving energy my way this year. My biggest priorities? The utter boycotting of overtime that has me chained to my computer through the weekends as this massively caught up with me in September. I work predominantly from home, which means it's quite easy to rack up the overtime hours but the last 7 months have really truly gotten out of hand. I work well into the evenings, roll into bed and get up to do it all over again. The weekends get easily lost to being overworked and I've got to sack up and start prioritizing my actual life before I completely crack in two.

October energy is out of the house and off the clock. It's Springtime so catch me in a field of flowers somewhere clicking my heels together and spinning round like an overly cheery lady in a tampon commercial. 

In an effort to start October off on a wave of positivity, please find a list below of my September favorites because I am truly nothing more than a 2009-Youtube-era-monthly-favourites-what's-in-my-bag type of gal.

Ranunculus.

                     


Suddenly Seymour from Little Shop of Horrors (I'm really young, fun and cool)



Norman's morning puppy dog eyes.



The Moo Deng Live Stream that I check at least once a day (Sidenote: I cried my eyes out to a news report the other day that signed off with "just a little girl still new to the world and unaware of how much it adores her"  like full blown sobbing, reincarnate me as an oiled up, man biting, sassy fat hippo I beg you.)


Obsessively retraining my curls to ringlet once again after years and years of heat damage and abuse. It's definitely a work in progress and the irony of pining for them to return after many adolescent years spent hating them is not lost on me! Moral of the story: Kids are dumb and don't know anything.


That's it. Everything else was awful.

Come on October, I have faith in you.