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Will you marry me Erik Von Detten?

Saturday, October 9, 2021

 Today I woke up a nap and one of the people in it was Josh from The Princess Diaries movie. So I was sitting here groggily thinking to myself, hmm who the hell played Josh from The Princess Diaries movies? 

I googled.

Erik Von Detten.

I paused.

Brink? The man I was convinced would one day skate me off in to the sunset?

I am now sitting here in shock, completely unsure on if I knew that information or not.

Part of my brain is rolling its eyes thinking, obviously he has the same face, you definitely knew that.

But the shocked side is unsure.

The third side is concerned I have developed a brain condition and my memory loss has begun 

This is why an afternoon nap is never the answer! 

Anyway, gotta go be the old bitch with my young friends ttyl.











Pfizer Gang.

Monday, September 27, 2021

 


Mood= Finally Vaccinated.

Brain= Ouch.

Eyes = Sleep.

I wanna take a nap....I wanna take a nap here...


Gnnnight.





See you at my funeral probably.

Friday, September 3, 2021


Hello.

I am exhausted.

I have been slowly working myself into an early grave this week and let me tell you it is not the wave!

A snapshot?

At 10pm on Tuesday night I got a text that the wellness centre I remotely manage at the moment had a call out for the rest of the week. Cut to me frantically getting in contact with everyone trying to find coverage so we were able to open at 8am the next day. 

I fell asleep around 12pm.

At 4:45am my alarm went off so that I could finish arranging the schedule. After an hour or two of bed-work I quickly got dressed and went to actual office-work. I was at my desk by 7:30am, smashing raspberries directly into my face because somehow I thought that would help.

On my lunch break, I spent 30 minutes on the phone with the team at the wellness centre making sure they didn't need anything ordered or that you know...the place was still standing. 

I got off work at 3:30pm and spent an hour on the phone discussing hiring, I set up a couple of massages trials on the way home and then sat on my couch furiously making a massage roster, suddenly looking up when I noticed it had gone dark. I quickly made some feta and spinach scrolls to constantly shove into my face for the next few days (apparently I eat all foods by shoving them into my gob) because I'm obsessed with puff pastry and want it with every meal!


I then of course took a minute to pose them with the fake plant I have draped across my kitchen, before having a scalding hot shower and a little scream.

I put on my Oodie, curled into a ball, went to sleep and woke up at 4:30am to type up an employee contract before leaving for work and doing it all over again.

My Monday to Friday job is now on pause for the weekend, but I get to spend my entire Saturday in the wellness centre frantically running around training staff on how to properly roll towels,  scrubbing salty water off the walls and most likely taking small breaks to law down on a massage table trying to hold it all together! 



This was me last weekend when I was....you guessed it....taking a 5 minute break on a massage table trying to hold it all together!!

Next week it's going to be even better because I get to add a couple of 15 hour on site work days to the mix! I love my life (and also complaining...I love that too!)

Now if you will excuse me my two broken finger nails, extremely swollen clotted leg and probable eye bags are going to binge watch a 9/11 documentary, do a face mask and fall asleep at 8pm on a Friday night.

Party on Garth!





 


 






 

A problem for another day.

Thursday, August 19, 2021

I'm the Queen of branding every thing in my life as a problem for future Jordan.

I am ruled so heavily by instant gratification and the desire to prolong the things I don't want to do that if there is any facet of my life I want to change I'm quick to set the start date as the 1st day of next week....or the 1st of the month....or the 1st of the year. I am the person who buys tons of cute workout clothes prior to beginning any fitness journey, before leaving the actual fitness part for future Jordan to worry about.

I know the key to success is starting today, it's finding that mindset of ok sure, you fell off your bike whilst learning to ride, don't throw the whole bike away and worry about learning to do it some other time, simply pick it up and keep going down that track.

Speaking of learning to ride a bike, I rocked those training wheels for faaaaar too long. I waited until long after my next door neighbour was whizzing around me sans training wheels as I pitter pattered along the pavement alongside his younger sister, hoping she wouldn't whip hers off anytime soon so I had a partner in being a scaredy-cat. I remember my Dad taking me down to a local park to teach me, one wobble and I had my arms folded tightly across my chest. Yep, this is future Jordan's problem! The pressure to learn stressed me out, why was everybody rushing me! Then one afternoon, I went out into my cul de sac all alone, pulled out my bike and taught myself how to use it. After I had it mastered I ran out the back to grab my Mum and her boyfriend at the time to casually inform them of my new skill. Yep, nailed it. 

The same goes with swimming. I had those water wings on way too late, because they were comfy and stress free. Sure, my older brother seemed to do everything before his time and would constantly pester me about how much of a baby my lack of skills made me, but see learning all these things? Meh, Future Jordan's problem. Training wheels were safe. Floaties were safe. I wasn't hurting anyone, I was just putting it off for a more suitable day. 


Yeah girl you rock those floaties in a literal hot tub....you will certainly drown here.

This is a long round about way of saying that I'm the kind of person who would set a New Years resolution, fail on February 13th and pack it in for the next 10 months. I'll give it a go next year. 

I'm trying to get better at that.

Now, I have majority of the major life skills mastered by this stage but that doesn't mean there aren't things sitting on my things to worry about in the future list.

Therefore, here are my August 20th resolutions-

Buy a Car

I have lived in Brisbane for exactly (like to the day) two years. I have spent those two years getting around via public transport, Uber, family and friends! I have had my license for 12 years, I physically can drive buuuuut after living in NYC for many years, public transport became second nature. I didn't drive, I rode. I got so comfortable being able to get anywhere with my backpack, headphones and two feet that the thought of owning a car seemed unnecessary. Cut forward to my time in Los Angeles, I was averaging $800 a month on Uber, opting for this stress free way of weaving through traffic every day. My lack of time spent behind the wheel of late has made me somewhat apprehensive about it. I learned to drive in rural New Hampshire, and could easily bob and weave through muddy backroads free from traffic, driving in a city with far more traffic is one thing...but in a city where you are on the opposite side of both the car and road? Petrifying. For this reason I have not bought a car, much to the dismay of friends, family and my former boss who roasted me into oblivion when I popped in to say hello recently. It's probably time to man up and bite the bullet.

Get a Dog

Ok this one is kind of a cheat, like writing a few gimme's on the top of your to do list so you get to cross them right off and start the day off on the best foot. My friend has already but down the deposit on said future furry best friend, so this is definitely on it's way to completion, but there is still time to back out when I freak out about not having the time, or space! 

Build the gym back in to my routine

In the second half of 2020, I was at the gym five nights a week and above all else I loved the sense of satisfaction I got walking out after every session. I would go both with a friend of mine to hold me accountable or alone if our schedules didn't align, and truly felt like I was creating this amazing habit. I then quickly fell off this bandwagon after the holiday season was quickly followed up by a lockdown and mask wearing. It all seemed too complicated and swiftly fell down my priority list. I want to change that. I am holding more weight than I would like, and don't fit in to any of my favourite clothes but that is last on my list of motivations for doing this. The main motivation for this resolution is rooted in that memory of how productive and accomplished I felt as an active gym go'er. 

I think three is enough resolutions for now.

I could sit here and write 30 things I would like to accomplish but with a list too long, that accountability all but vanishes in to thin air. 

So yeah, let's see if any of these actually happen.

Time will tell.